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Old MacDonald Checks His Voice Mail.
Tags:animal, animals, animal sounds, animal noises, farm, farms, farming, farmer, farmers, livestock, cow, cows, chicken, chickens, pig, pigs, sheep, song, songs, children's song, children's songs, old macdonald had a farm, lyrics, famous, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, voice mail, voice mails, voicemail, voicemails, answering machine, answering machines, message, messages, cluck, baa, moo, oink, technology
Triple Witching Hour in Apartment 3-K.
Tags:witching hour, witching hours, witch, witches, antisocial, introvert, introverts, introversion, introverted, phone message, phone messages, answering machine, answering machines, keep to yourself, keeping to yourself, worst fear, worst fears, nightmare, nightmares, visit, visits, visitor, visitors
"I'm sorry I'm not available to answer you personally right now. Please leave your name and a message with the time and date you tried to reach me, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Please wait for the beep."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, answering machine, answering machines, voicemail, voicemail box, telephone, telephones, greeting, greetings, ignored, ignoring, ignore, technology, couples argument, couples dispute, couples counsellor, couples counsellors, couples counselling, couples therapy, couples therapist, marriage therapist, marriage therapy
"Your call is important to us. Please hold for four hours, howl obscenities, punch a hole in the wall, and hang up."
"To talk about the 76% of my time preparing lectures, press one. To talk about why adjunct professors teach most of the classes, press two, to talk. . ."
'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'
"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you now, but please leave your name and number after the sound of the tone and I'll call you back a little after twilight!"
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, voicemail, voicemails, answering machine, answering machines, message, messages, missed call, missed calls, call back, calling back, twilight, night, nighttime, darkness, dark, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, vampire, vampires, coffin, coffins, casket, casket, sleeping, asleep, technology, modern life, halloween, hallowe'en, all hallows eve
"You have no new messages."
(If the phone rings in my office, and no one is there to hear it, does it really ring? ..... oh, and the answering machine is broken.)
Tags:bar, bars, drinks, drinking, pub, pubs, cocktail lounge, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, internal monologue, internal monologues, answering machine, answering machines, technology, telephones, telephone, if a tree falls in the forrest, expression, expressions, proverb, proverbs, philosophical questions, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, george berkeley, subjective idealism, angst
"Nothing to speak of. Someone left a Bronx cheer on your voice mail."
Tags:bronx cheer, bronx cheers, raspberry, raspberries, blow a raspberry, blows a raspberry, blowing a raspberries, voicemail, voicemails, voice mail, voice mails, answering machine, answering machines, villain, villains, villainous, ceo, ceos, unpopular, unpopularity, hated, secretary, secretaries, executive, executives, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, out of office
"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."
'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'
"The tide is out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message..."
Tags:tide, tides, beach, beach trip, beach trips, beach holiday, beach holidays, seashell, seashells, sea shell, sea shells, answering machine, answering machines, voicemail, voice mail, out of office, out of office reply, out of office replies, shell, shells, hear the ocean, hearing the ocean, conch, conches, tide going in, tide going out
'I don't know if the cat is away ot not - I got his answering machine.'
4 Panel - on how aggrivating voice mail and computerized answering can be.
"I see, your name is Dad. And what family did you say you're with?"
"I can't take your message at the moment as I'm on a beach sipping a daiquiri, thank you for holding, your call is important to us."
Tags:holding message, holding message, call, calls, phone call, phone calls, answering machine, answering machines, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, out of office, out of office message, out of office messages, ignore, ignores, ignoring, avoid, avoids, avoiding, customer service, customer service representative, customer service representatives
The Black Hole Of Messages
"Hi, this is Larry, the warm, human voice that pops in during your exasperating tour through our company's automated phone answering system, gets your hopes up and then dashes them to the rocks before you can utter a word. Please hold!"
"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."
"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."
Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...
"Hello. You have reached the Palace. If you wish to speak to the King, press '1' now. If you wish to speak to the Queen, press '2' now. If you wish to speak to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, press '3' now. And if you wish to speak to the Minister of Cul
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, royal, royalty, ruler, rulers, royal court, queen, queens, chancellor, chancellors, exchequer, exchequers, minister, ministers, minister of culture, culture, cultures, government, bureaucracy, palace, palaces, castle, castles, message, messages, press, speak, answering machine, answering machines, voicemail, voicemails, dial, dialing, dialling, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, nap, napping, read, reading, book, books, television, television, tv, tvs, t.v., watch, watching, bored, boredom, jester, jesters, reception, receptionist, receptionists, modern life, medieval