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"I'm leaving public life so I can spend more time with my lawyers."
Tags:announce, announces, announced, announcing, lawyer, lawyers, attorneys, attorney, public life, public, celebrity, celebrities, politician, politicians, scandal, scandals, scandalous, speechwriter, speechwriters, orator, orators, orate, orating, orated, orates, self importance, on retainer, law, retiring, retires, retired, retire, retiring from public life, criminal offences, criminal offence
"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."
Tags:plaintiff, plaintiffs, hit and run, hit & run, hit and runs, hit & runs, venison, deer, bbq, bbqs, barbecue, barbecues, barbeque, barbeques, legal, elgals, lawyer, lawyers, legal representative, legal representatives, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, prosecution, prosecutions, prosecutor, prosecutors, criminal offence, criminal offences, roadkill, bloodsports, hunter, hunters, hunt, hunts, deer season, venison steak
'Uh-oh! It's the pun police!'
". . . And this is my stalker, Kevin."
"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"
"I disagree. The incident may be disturbing, but only those very easily offended would find it revolting."
"Hey everybody, Quigley is practicing his perp walk."
"I cloned a guy in Reno. How 'bout yourself?"
"They got me for running a chain of very fattening fast-food joints."
"I was just trying to brush him back."
Tags:arrest, arrests, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, baseball game, baseball games, baseball match, baseball matches, gun, guns, gun crime, gun crimes, brush back, brushback, brushbacks, brush backs, brushback pitch, brushback pitches, criminal offense, criminal offence, criminal offences, criminal offenses
'As you haven't left the house in weeks, I'm having you arrested.'
"Drawing with a revoked artistic license. What about you?"
Tags:artistic license, artistic license, artist, artists, graffiti, graffitist, graffitists, artwork, artworks, licence, licences, license, licenses, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, criminal offence, criminal offences, cell mate, cell mates, cellmate, cellmates, prisoner, prisoners, free speech, censorship, censor, censors
"Mom, is it legal to yell, 'Squirrel,' in a movie theater?"
"Sure, it was a hate crime. He hates me, and I slugged him."
'Someone, help me! Everything I was put in here for is now legal!'
"The government and I had a difference of opinion on what was tax deductible."
"They got me on simple assault, stalking and public lewdness!"
"Arresting me for trespass - on what grounds?"
"Would you still love me if I wasn't a criminal?"
"Went that way Officer - bold as bras, out in the street - without a hat!"
"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."
'I'll sell you the gun in my back pocket for one million.'
"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."
Tags:convict, convicts, con, crimes, criminals, cells, cell-mate, cell-mates, cell mate, cell mates, crime, criminal, sentences, criminal offence, criminal offences, sentences, cons, cell, jail, committing, commit, crime, criminal, sentence, laws, letter, letters, letter to the editor, editor, editors, newspaper