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"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"
"Son, if you can't say something nice, say something clever but devastating."
'...just stick to the dolphins.'
'...Over millions of years the male brain has evolved to help us to find a mate, get a meal, and ward-off hostile takeovers.'
"Dude, I did enough talking with my dad today to last for a week!"
'Remember, son, sex is the most beautiful thing that money can buy.'
"Relax kid, it's a bird-eat-bug world out there."
"Son, there's three things I want you to never forget...never give up on a dream...marry for love...and use 8-digit complex passwords!"