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"If it please the court, I'd like to act as my own plucky young female attorney."
Tags:law, children, age, juvenile court, juvenile, juvenile game, juvenile games, kids game, kids games, mother may i, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, approach the bench, approaches the bench, approaching the bench, kid's game, kid's games, mankoff
"How was it? Hissy fit or kissy face?"
Tags:sexist, institutional sexism, male-dominated, legal system, legal systems, bro, bros, institutional sexism, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, lawyer, lawyers, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, judge, judges, insulting, insult, insults, executive, executives, corporate culture, corporate ladder, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, women in the workplace, workplace
We also find the defendant's lawyer guilty by association.
'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'
"Please direct your comments to the jury, counsellor, not the Greek chorus."
Tags:jury, juries, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, courtroom, courtrooms, court room, court rooms, dramatic effect, dramatic effects, tragedy, tragedies, greek tragedy, greek tragedies, cassandra, greek chorus, greek choruses, fate, fates, fated, chorus, choruses
"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."
Tags:judge, judges, court, courtrooms, courtroom, law, laws, crimes, criminals, criminal, trial, trials, lawyer, lawyers, defense, defence, defense attorney, prosecutor, solicitor, barrister, trial lawyer, defense attorneys, judging, ruling, rules, indignant, individual, individuals, character, characters, trial lawyers, defendant, defendants, guilty, not guilty, guilt, jury, honor, juries, weak defense
"Mind if I thump it? I'm a Bible-thumper."
Tags:bible, bible thumper, bible thumpers, fanatic, fanatics, religious fanatic, religious fanatics, fanaticism, swear in, swears in, swearing in, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, jesus freak, jesus freaks, cross-examine, cross-examination, testify, testifies, testifying
"Oh, very well - make that life with the possibility of parole."
Tags:parole, paroles, begging, trial, trials, courtroom, courtrooms, court, courts, sentence, sentences, sentencing, life sentence, life sentences, life-sentence, life-sentences, judge, judges, prison sentence, prison sentences, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, defense lawyer, defense lawyers, trial attorney, trial attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, say hi to my client."
Tags:law, juries, courtroom, lawyers, introduction, introductions, opening statement, opening statements, trial, trials, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, courtrooms, jury pool, jury pools, client, clients, butter up, butters up, buttering up, defense attorney, defence attorney, defense attorneys, defence attorneys, mankoff
"It's obvious, isn't it ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that the defendant has guilt written all over his face."
What barristers/attorneys are really thinking - "Beer."
Student to biology teacher: 'Dissecting? Couldn't we get sued for malpractice?'
Lawyer to dog about ambulance: 'I'll race ya.'
Secretasry to lawyer: 'Some clown here to see you about a high profile slip and fall.'
Judge about lawyer with badger: 'I think it's clear to everyone what you're doing to this witness.'
'We find the drifter guilty.'
First we sue the guy who saved your life. We'll file a no-class-action suit.
'Is the person you saw with the gun here in the courtroom today, and if so, would you point him out for the jury?'
'He's training for a career in law.'
Trail Lawyers For The Pretentious - "J'accuse!", "Mais Non!"
"I'm beginning to think you are guilty."
'Your Honor, the jury is doing the wave again!'
"How many crimes are you going to get me off and commit me back into those hell-hole streets out there!?"
Tags:legal system, legal systems, repeat offender, repeat offenders, crimes, criminal, criminals, arrest, arrests, defense attorney, defense attorneys, trial lawyer, trial lawyers, trial attorney, trial attorneys, street crime, street crimes, attorney, attorneys, social problem, social problems, crime rate, crime rates