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"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"
"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."
The Lawyers of the Jungle
'Let's go and chase some cats while our lawyers bite each other!'
'And my client never had any formal obedience school training.'
"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."
'I've noticed that sometimes lawyers will tell the truth. They'll do anything to win a case.'
"He said 'stop me if you've heard this before', so, naturally. . ."
"Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty as a matter of self defense."