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"I don't mind the whip. It's the cubicles I find demoralizing."
"I have decided to change your title from Procurement Director to Director of Buying Things."
"My job? Well, except for its soul-shattering, spirit-crushing and integrity-annihilating aspects, I consider it a real labor of love!"
"Our management style is fairly traditional. We let our employees think they're being set up for failure, and then surprise them with toxic success!"