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Formula One snail
'Why doesn't he just control Z, control Z, control Z?'
"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."
"I need to tinkle."
'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'
The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.
'I know he owns the team but I still think it wont work out.'
'I had to shoot him, he was cheering for Vettel throughout the whole race.'
'Apparently she looks stunning naked.'
'What comes out of a wardrobe at 150mph?'
Californian Grand Prix
'Their on-track rivalry seems to have carried over to the presentation ceremony Andrew.'
'Maybe it was a left turn at the last set of traffic lights...?'
'Hello Bob, how was the Grand Prix at Silverstone..?'
Jacques Villeneuve: I'm a lousy driver, but she loves me anyway.
If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.
The Finish Line
Engine blown - Swear box.
'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'
'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'
'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'