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"Back in my day, we didn't have fancy toys. We just had hair ties."
'Your generation is soft. I my day we had only three cable movie channels, one ESPN and it was all crappy analog!!'
'When I was a young neanderthal, we didn't have these fancy fires. We ate our meat BEFORE it was dead. And we didn't need no sissy wooden clubs. Our bare hands worked just fine. And we didn't walk in no fancy-schmancy upright position!'
'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'
'That's the problem with youth today - no backbone.'
'Nowadays you can't tell the boys from the girls.'
'I don't sit here all the time, Mom. Just June through August.'
'Aw Mom! It's so boring between here and the car!'
'I'm sorry, but you haven't got the job.'
'I am not giving money for carol ring tones!'
"Boy, quit your bellaching. When I was your age, we had to pass through radioactive, shark infested water with Tsunami sized waves."
"If we tell millennials the brain is an app maybe they'll start using it."