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'Wally? Do you think I'm a good mother?...So who's going to take the blame for this?'
"Our studies have shown that 'nature' and 'nuture' are both important but nothing like as important as a trust fund!"
Zombie Parenting Books.
The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.
Parent Involvement Tip #1
"He wants to grow up and become a congressman? Where did we go wrong?"
'Wrong. It takes loving parents. The only thing a village can raise is a village idiot.'
'Most recently I've been involved in the manufacture, development, testing and repair of primary bio-components. Kids.'
'Yes, but the ideological notion that striking a child isn't justified under any circumstances contradicts thousands of years of parenting experience.'
'Mom' Upside Down Is 'Wow'!
'So, Mrs Cuckoo, why would I grant you Maternity Leave when we all know you don't raise your own children?'
'Did your mother ever lift weights?'
'Stop nagging! I'm fathering.'
'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'
'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'
'And if you want anything during the night just shout for me and I'll send your Father!'
'If I had talked to my folks like my kids talk to me?...My mom would have spanked me from Pikeville to Murray!'
'If your performance continues to deteriorate, your mother and I will be forced to post your position.'
'You should do what your mother says - however silly it is!'