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TRUST: 'Are you telling me that none of you knows what it means?'
NHS development plan
DOH to judge practices on 'voluntary' quality scheme.
'We're launching a campaign to get people to take up smoking again!'
TRUST: "Are you telling me that none of you knows what it means?"
"Guidance from the DOH on how to see paitents more quickly..."
"They said their contract was too complicated....so we've shortened it!"
"If there was only somebody we could consult!"
"...In the long run, we'd like patients to see an accounts clerk, nurse, and resource manager before they get anywhere near the doctor..."
Politicians are 100% behind doctors
'To say that we didn't vet this appraisal scheme properly is sheer poppycock...why I had my grandaughter look at it and she said it was very nice!'
Magic Marvo and the amazing disappearing pay rise.
'Many people wondered how the figures in the NHS plan were arrived at!'
"Slight misunderstanding...the 2000 isn't the target...it's the years it might take to reach the target!"
"We know that being a GP isn't about money...."
"The whole concept is based on Hattie Jacques performance in 'Carry On Doctor'"
'92 elements in the Universe and you always have to chuck the compound NaCl all over your dinner!'
"They said their contract was too complicated..."
"GPs morale is rock bottom...I think we should send them a postcard saying they're very nice!"
'The DOH is targeting the problem of repeat prescriptions with some repeat proposals.'
'Crisis? What crisis?' asks DoH Minster.
"...so I guess it's time to restructure again!"