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'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'
'It's a postcard from your doctor. He says he'll be right with you.'
Thank you for suffering in silence.
"It's great to see so many new faces her tonight!"
'Sorry, I'm a doctor. If you want that looked at, you'll have to make an appointment like everyone else.'
'I read all the magazines I then paper mached your likeness and repeatedly stabbed you.'
"Guidance from the DOH on how to see paitents more quickly..."
"How would you deal with patients angry at having to wait for appointments?"
"He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown."
"My third felony was a smart move. Folks on the outside are still waiting for health care."
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"I'm going to try and get an outpatients appointment, I may be some time!"
"Any chance you could come back in ten months?"
Emergency: "Waiting long?"
"Look at it this way, we have a waiting room and it would be a shame not to use it."
'Labour have promised everyone can see their GP within 48 hours...here's yours!'
"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."
'I'll get to you in a bit, I've just got to go and make up some figures about waiting times...'
Waiting room occupants are called 'patients'...coincidence?
'So how long shall we put down he was waiting...3 hours 58?'
Waiting for the doctor
"I have to lay low unti the heat is off."
"Wake up, RIP. The doctor will see you now."
"We're running a little behind, but we'd be happy to have our anesthesiologist put you under for a few hours, until the doctor is ready to see you."