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"Are you telling the court that because of the South Beach diet your pants fell down?"
"I think we really got hurt by the jury selection!"
"So you're saying you were recovering in hospital from a shark attack at the time of the crime? Sounds like a water-bite alibi to me."
'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'
"I'm pleading 'insanity' because I'm crazy to act as my own attorney!"
'I've noticed that sometimes lawyers will tell the truth. They'll do anything to win a case.'
Great Moments In Law: 'C. Wright Giddings successfully introduces the 'office-temp-who-made-the-coffee-way-too-strong' defense.'