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"I'm finding it difficult to keep alive the little embezzler within."
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prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, in prison, in jail, in gaol, gaol, jail, gaols, jails, cellmate, cellmate, inner child, the inner child, embezzler, embezzlers, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, embezzling, psychobabble, criminal, criminals, corrupt, corruption"Hang on, there's a new definition of evil."
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definition, definitions, new definition, new definitions, evil, legal definition, legal definitions, new law, new laws, new legislation, legislator, legislators, super hero, super heroes, superhero, superheroes, super, supers, hero, heroes, super power, super powers, annoy, annoying, nuisance, nuisances, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminalsInsufficient Postage
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jail, jails, jailing, post office, post offices, post, posts, posting, mail, mails, mailing, stamp, stamps, postage, postage fee, postage fees, increase, increases, increasing, go up, goes up, going up, punishments, harsh, excessive, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, postal, going postal"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."
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monkey, monkeys, gorilla, gorillas, apes, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, corporate law, corporate lawyer, corporate lawyers, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, upright, pretentious, pretentiousness, pretension, bury evidence, burying evidence"You can't legislate morality, thank heaven."
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legislate, legislation, morality, moral, morals, immoral, ethics, unethical, business ethics, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, business man, business men, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, big business, big businesses, corporate giant, corporate giants, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists"Community service? You mean around regular people?"
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community service, sentence, sentences, judge, judges, court, in court, court of law, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, privileges, privileged, privilege, ungrateful, spoilt, guilt, guilty, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar crimes, white collar criminals, corrupt, corruption"My client would like to do his community service in the financial community."
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community service, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, financial crime, financial crimes, investment, investments, insider trading, insider, insiders, inside trade, inside trades, inside trading, prison, avoid prison, avoids prison, avoiding prison, punishments, unequal punishment, inequality, elite, elites"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."
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science, medical, criminal excuses, white collar criminals, moral relativism, courtroom, law, judges, genetic determinism, white collar crime, white collar crimes, justice, determinism, determinist, deterministic, plea bargain, plea bargains, plea deal, plea deals, trial, trials, not guilty plea, not guilty pleas, excuse, lame excuse, lame excuses, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, mankoff"They gave me the same number as my Swiss bank account."
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prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison cell, prison cells, cell mate, cell mates, con, cons, convict, convicts, prisoner number, prisoner numbers, tax evasion, tax evader, tax evaders, swiss bank account, offshore banking, fraud, frauds, embezzlement, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals"I move for less transparency."
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transparency, big window, big windows, office building, office buildings, glass office, glass offices, business meeting, business meetings, board meeting, board meetings, window cleaner, window cleaners, window cleaning, transparency in business, corrupt, corruption, embezzlement, embezzler, embezzling, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, gender pay gap"So how long is your extended administrative leave?"
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word play, play on words, word, words, administrative leave, leave, forced leave, bad vacation, vacation time, annual leave, business, business humor, business humour, office, corporate, jail, prison, employment, unemployed, unemployment, prisons, jail time, prison time, jails, crime, crimes, criminal, white collar crime, white collar criminals, white collar criminal, sugar, sugar coated, sugar coating, sugar coating it, sugar-coat, sugar-coating, pinch of salt"When we heard you were playing ball we assumed it was with the company softball team and not with the feds."
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play ball, playing ball, the feds, softball, company sports team, company sports team, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, spy, spying, spies, found out, embezzling, embezzlement, frs, the frs, federal reserve system, central monetary control, central banking system, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens"This is what happens when ethical standards are set artificially high."
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ethics, ethic, ethical, white collar crime, white collar criminals, crime, crimes, criminals, jail, jails, jailed, prison, prisoners, prisoner, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prison cells, incarceration, incarcerated, standards, standard, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, moral, morals, morality, virtue, virtuous, virtues, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, convicted"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."
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white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, reception, receptionist, receptionists, waiting room, waiting rooms, arrest, arrests, under arrests, pass on the message, passing on the message, executive, executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, police officer, police officers, protocol, formal, formality, formalities, protocols"I'm perfectly happy to suffer the slings and arrows as long as I can keep the outrageous fortune."
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rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, slings and arrows, executives, executive, business executives, business executive, business executives, corrupt, corruption, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminals, greed, greedy, greediness, selfish, selfishness"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."
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tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, corrupt, corruption, accounting, accountant, accountants, accounting practices, accountancy"I can understand you embezzling the company's money. You should understand my asking for a cut."
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executive, executives, business executive, business executives, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses, embezzling, embezzler, dishonest, dishonesty, taking a cut, taking advantage, profiteer, profiteering, trust, trusts, company funds, let off, off the hook"I've never understood—what is the difference between morals and ethics?"
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fox, foxes, rabbit, rabbits, predator, predators, prey, morals, morality, ethics, ethical, unethical, executive, executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, inequality, wealth gap, pay gap, the one percent, corporate giant, corporate giants"Take the deductions but have good underlying documentation."
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bird, birds, talking bird, talking birds, play on words, word play, wordplay, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, pet bird, pet birds, tax deductions, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens"I'm sorry I couldn't be there but I was able to TiVo your perp walk."
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perp walk, perp walks, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, corruption, corrupt, selfish, selfishness, lazy, laziness, insensitive, insensitivity, cable, cable tv, cable television, walking the perp, frog march, frog marching, the media, unsupportive, self centred, self centered, corporate giant, corporate giants, disloyal"My gift for embezzling was overshadowed only by their gift for auditing."
"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."
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white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, corrupt, corruption, embezzling, embezzlement, embezzler, embezzlers, prison, prisons, jail, jails, work hard play hard, work life balance, work-life balance, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, big business, big businesses, regret, regrets, regretful, mistake, mistakes, life choice, life choices, big mistake, big mistakesCelebrity Accountant
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accountant, accountants, accountancy, accounting, audit, audits, inspection, inspections, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, celebrity, celebrities, actor, actors, acting, show, shows, theatres, theater, theaters, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens"Run this up Legal's ass."
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corporate lawyer, corporate lawyers, legal advice, corporate law, big corporation, big corporations, big company, big companies, corporate giant, corporate giants, legal, legals, proposition, propositions, business proposition, business propositions, business ethics, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, embezzlement, embezzling, corruption