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"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."
"How do you plead? Please listen carefully, as the menu has changed."
'I know the legal process doesn't really work like it does on TV, but couldn't you at least have a sound track.'
"In the interest of streamlining the judicial process, we'll skip the evidence and go directly to sentencing."
"What is it with you and this fixation with 'ev-i-dence,' Counselor?"
Absolutely NO approaching the bench!
'Look, Simpson, I don't care if due legal process hasn't been exhausted, your card still says 'Go directly to jail''
Pomp and Circumstantial Evidence.
'The county is serious about streamlining the judicial process.'
Caution: Lawyers & Riff-Raff Next 50 Yards.
'I'm having a hard-time unwinding during the prenup process.'
'Father, I plead the 5th Amendment...'
'Well, yes. We do normally offer to represent clients on a 'no win, no fee' basis. But yours looks more like a 'no win, no chance' case.'
"Who cares? There's no mandatory convictions."