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"Dinner comes complete with coffee and your choice of dessert or an oil painting."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, dinner, dinners, course menu, course menus, your choice, choice, choices, choosing, dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings, oil painting, oil paintings, painting, paintings, painter, painters, artist, artists, art, artwork, artworks, coffee, trend, trends, trendy, fad, fads, modern life, culture
'I collect a different type of oil painting.'
"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."
"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."
Tags:irony, ironic, artist, artists, art, self portrait, portrait, portraits, paint, painter, painting, paints, reality, fantasy, expectation, realities, pretentious, pretentiously, pedantic, pedant, incomprehensible, modern, modern life, modern world, modernist, modernism, gallery, galleries, culture, cultures, cultured, beginner, beginners, supplies, art supply, art supplies, paintbrush, paintbrushes, brushes, color, colors, oil, oil painting, oil paint, oil paints, canvas, canvases, kit, kits, set, sets, specific, specifics, list, lists, access, accessible, brainless, doesn't know what, looking for, under her nose, under his nose, close, nearby, amateur, novice
'Intriguing how the eyes follow you round the room . . .'
Artist Disappears When A Moose Shows Up
"It's nice, but I never smile like that. I smile like this."
Tags:smile, smiling, mona lisa, monalisa, monna lisa, portrait, painting, portraits, paint, paints, italian renaissance, renaissance, italian, da vinci, leonardo da vinci, leonardo, louvre, contrast, contrasting, unrealistic, art, artist, artists, oil painting, lisa gherardini, florence, italy, italian, italians, grin, grinning, history, historical, duchy of florence, italy
'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'
'How much longer can I hold this pose?' (flower in vase being painted).
Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.
Tags:painting, paintings, oil painting, oil paintings, portrait, portraits, ancestor, ancestors, frame, frames, painting frame, painting frames, framing, modifying, modification, modifications, destroy, destroying, destroys, deface, defaces, defacing, misguided, do it yourself, vandalism, vandal, vandals, artwork, restore, restoration, restoring, fine art, fine arts, fine artist, fine artists
Painting Mona Lisa.
"I gained a lot of weight when I stopped working in oil, and switched to butter!"
Oil paintings - £100 each.
'I'll be damned if I'm going to add pink because my grand daughter said to.'
'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'
'Big eyes? Big teeth? Listen kid, you're no oil painting yourself!'
Artists supplies: Fire Sale - Oil paints, burnt umber, burnt orange, fire red, hot pink.
A Cave Painting
'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'
A Beau Brummel type having his portrait painted whilst posing on a saddle.
Skeleton Portrait Painting
Ronald couldn't grasp his instructor's insistence on his using oils rather than his preferred medium, watercolour.
Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.