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"Howard is my firstborn, and my masterpiece."
"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."
"Don't force me to invoke my rights pf primogeniture."
Baby beluga, middle child beluga, firstborn beluga
"Mom, I don't like being the oldest child. It's lonely at the top."
"Your eight year old brother took the same course online at home and got an 'A'."
"This says first-born children are list-makers, reliable, organized and serious!"
"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."