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The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.
'Silent type, eh?'
"Don't make waves."
"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."
Tags:whale, whales, whaling, whaler, whalers, whaled, fat, fatness, fatter, fattening, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weigh, scale, scaled, proportional, proportion, new year new me, new year's, new years, new year's resolution, resolutions, new year's resolutions, nye, diet, dieting, crash diet, crash dieting, extreme diet, extreme diets, perspective, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, christmas weight
"My prostate is the size of a beach ball which, I understand, is normal."
Bob begins to regret his decision to stay for one last drink.
"I know you adopted me, but who were my biological parents?"
"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"
Tags:culture clash, literature, literary, culture, cultural, lit major, book, books, book lover, book lovers, bookish, book worm, book worms, pop culture, pop culture reference, moby dick, moby, white whale, whale, whales, whaling, right behind, right behind me, captain ahab, irony, dramatic irony, ironic
'So there I am, trying to get some sun, when these 12 idiots come along and keep pushing me back in.'
"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."
Tags:culture clash, literature, literary, culture, cultural, lit major, book, books, book lover, book lovers, bookish, book worm, book worms, pop culture, pop culture reference, moby dick, moby, white whale, whale, whales, whaling, mount, mounted, hunt, hunting, hunter, hunters, trope, tropes, cliche, cliches, print, print culture, e reader, e readers, e-reader, e-readers, digital, digital versus, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays
Save the Whales
Tags:panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, whale, whales, save the saves, beggar, beggars, begging, poverty, poor, street person, street people, charity, charities, charitable, philanthropist, philanthropists, bum, bums, hobo, hobos, activist, activists, collection cup, collection cups, collections cup, collections cups
"But can they save themselves?"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, whale, whales, campaign, campaigns, save, protect, protection, nature, environment, environmental, environmental destruction, human, humans, human being, human beings, the human race, destruction, destroy, depletion, endangered, endangered species, going extinct, planet earth, earth
"They say your chances of survival are better sitting in the tail section."
"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."
"It's all yours."
Tags:whale, whales, ocean, oceans, evolution, evolve, evolves, evolving, tetrapod, tetrapods, mammal, mammals, sea life, oceanographer, oceanographers, marine biologist, marine biologists, marine biology, biologist, biology, biology teacher, biology teachers, teacher, teachers, teaching, land-dwelling, water-dwelling
Save a Whale Bank: 'It's your interest.'
"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."
'Yah, sure. You betcha. Go ahead and get the big net.'
Tags:ice fishing, ice fisherman, ice fishermen, fisherman, fishermen, fish, fishes, fishing rod, fishing rods, fishing, hobby, pastime, pastimes, whale, whales, fishing bait, fishing baits, catch, catching, fishing net, fishing nets, surprise, prey, preys, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
A pod of bleached whales,
"We could be soulmates, if only you could overlook my tiny calves."
Tags:calves, mermaid, mermaids, calve muscle, calve muscles, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, soulmate, soulmates, true love, true loves, date, dates, whale, whales, shallow, shallowness, appearance, appearances, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, seamonster, seamonsters, sea monster, sea monsters
"I'd like to let you go, Willy, but this is your third offense."
Tags:whale, whales, beached whale, beached whales, animal conservation, animal conservationist, animal conservationists, offices, office worker, office workers, office work, office job, cubicle, cubicles, office cubicle, office cubicles, bored, boring, boredom, monotony, monotonous, modern life, modern times, unfulfilled, unfulfilling, unemployment, global warming, climate change
A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.