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"O.K., who has to go potty before we disappear into the Federal Witness Protection Program?"
"Five Guys in Witness Protection."
'No golden parachute, but our severence package includes witness protection.'
"I tell you, that federal witness-protection program did one helluva great job on Eddie."
'Our CFO isn't available. He left the company to join the Witness Protection Program.'
It was a new day, new town, new identity and a new set of ethical guidelines.
"Relocating you won't be a problem, Pal...finding a plastic surgeon will!"
'Jehovah's Witness Protection Programme.'
"There've been some cutbacks in the witness protection program since you agreed to participate."
"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."
The Federal Witless Protection Program in action.
This is not what Hal had in mind when he entered the witness protection program.
It's not easy for eye specialist Dr. Groonzen to help people from the Witness Protection Program, celebs, or other patients who want to remain incognito.
"Hey, make sure you don't forget - you're no longer Eddy Wurster from Dover... you're Ben Fishkopp from Bath!"
"The tax authority wants to hide someone from their witness protection program here. They think it'll be safe because no one would look for an honest accountant at our company."
'I'm sorry, Mr. Miller, but providing information in a hit and run fender-bender case doesn't qualify you for the Federal Witness Protection Program.'
'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'
'I don't think he's too happy with the new identity we've given him,sarge!'
"....And good luck in the Witless Protection Program."
'Actually, I believe that witness should be put in the 'Witless Protection Program'.'
'Agent Schu, it's not about the show. It's about three things. Relocation, relocation, relocation.'
'You have to admit - this is a very THOROUGH witness protection program.'
Outside the 'FBI New Identity Office' a man says to another waiting, 'Zybisco Borealus. What's yours?'
'I have a few questions about the new identity your witness protection people set up for me.'
'...and they all went into the witness protection plan and lived happily ever after.'