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'Can I get that in a nutshell?'
"He misspoke, I misheard, then shots rang out."
"Can you describe your assailant, his weapon and a funny occupation to our improv sketch artist?"
Tags:assailant, assailants, victim, victims, sketch artist, sketch artists, sketch-artist, sketch-artists, police artist, police artists, detective, detectives, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, copper, coppers, witness statement, witness statements, police sketch artist, police sketch artists, composite artists, forensic artist, forensic artists, composite artist
Tags:witness statement, witness statements, witness, witnesses, description, descriptions, suspect, suspects, identity parade, identity parades, police lineup, police lineups, crime, crimes, detective, detectives, perspective, perspectives, criminal, criminals, investigation, investigations, prejudice, prejudices, stereotype, stereotypes, racism, discrimination
"We have records of all the bad wine you bring to dinner parties."
"Forgive me, Judge, but I've had a convenient loss of memory."
"Do you swear to show the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"
'Give it to me in a nutshell.'
'The jury will please disregard everything the witness just said, starting with 'What's it to you, big nose?''
"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"
'We'd just got to slide 104 when he gasped and keeled over. To be honest, I thought 'death by powerpoint' was just a figure of speech!'
"Would I describe them as youths? Sure. They were certainly younger than 70."
'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'
'No, I've never seen him before. He just came into the bar, and without any warning, started throwing his money about!'
'My credit card was stolen two months ago, ,,the thief is spending less than my wife,'
'Did you see who pushed you?'
'Now, while it's still fresh in your mind tell me again how big was that chipmunk that attacked you.'
"This is you! Is this your way of confessing?"
"Don't ask me for a description, I might change my mind about wanting him back."
Tags:missing person, missing people, missing persons department, description, descriptions, witness statement, witness statements, police station, ugly, ugliness, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, marital problem, marital problems, policemen, policeman, desk sergeant, desk sergeants
"Luckily, a lot of people had their phones out, so we've got about a dozen i-witnesses."
"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."
Tags:court of law, magistrate, magistrates, judge, judges, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, oath, oaths, witness, witnesses, testimony, testimonies, tablet, tablets, bible, bibles, court, courts, lawyer, lawyers, witness statement, witness statements, ebook, ebooks, e-book, e-books, ereader, ereaders, e-reader, e-readers
"A wide nose. Floppy ears. Spots..."
Tags:police sketch, artist sketch, artist, artists, sketch, sketches, witness statement, witness statements, witness, witnesses, suspect, suspects, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, dog, dogs, canine, canines, cat, cats, feline, felines, natural enemy, natural enemies, description, descriptions, cop, cops, detective, detectives, policemen, policeman
'I wish you wouldn't do that with a client's statement of truth.'
Tags:litigation, litigating, litigations, client, clients, statement of truth, witness statement, witness statements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, legal paperwork, legal paper, legal papers, legal document, legal documents, legal documentation, bad attitude, bad attitudes, business practice, contempt, contempt of court, lawsuit, lawsuits
"This court has a zero tolerance policy."
"Okay, okay, you didn't see anything - what did you hear?"