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"I love my testimony. You've really captured my voice."
Tags:witness, witnesses, testimony, testimonies, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, witness testimony, witness testimonies, trial, trials, courtroom, courtrooms, witness statement, witness statements, legal representative, legal representatives, writer, writers, writing skills
'Can I get that in a nutshell?'
"Anything you say can be used in a very exciting new true-crime podcast we're working on."
"He misspoke, I misheard, then shots rang out."
"Can you describe your assailant, his weapon and a funny occupation to our improv sketch artist?"
Tags:assailant, assailants, victim, victims, sketch artist, sketch artists, sketch-artist, sketch-artists, police artist, police artists, detective, detectives, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, copper, coppers, witness statement, witness statements, police sketch artist, police sketch artists, composite artists, forensic artist, forensic artists, composite artist
Tags:witness statement, witness statements, witness, witnesses, description, descriptions, suspect, suspects, identity parade, identity parades, police lineup, police lineups, crime, crimes, detective, detectives, perspective, perspectives, criminal, criminals, investigation, investigations, prejudice, prejudices, stereotype, stereotypes, racism, discrimination
"We have records of all the bad wine you bring to dinner parties."
"We apologize – our normal sketch artist is out with the flu."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, police station, police stations, witness, witnesses, witness statement, witness statements, sketch artist, sketch artists, artist, artists, bad art, bad artist, bad artists, stick figure, stick figures, artists likeness, artists likenesses, off sick, sick leave, flu, off with the flu
"Forgive me, Judge, but I've had a convenient loss of memory."
"Do you swear to show the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"
'Give it to me in a nutshell.'
'The jury will please disregard everything the witness just said, starting with 'What's it to you, big nose?''
"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"
'We'd just got to slide 104 when he gasped and keeled over. To be honest, I thought 'death by powerpoint' was just a figure of speech!'
"Would I describe them as youths? Sure. They were certainly younger than 70."
'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'
'No, I've never seen him before. He just came into the bar, and without any warning, started throwing his money about!'
'My credit card was stolen two months ago, ,,the thief is spending less than my wife,'
'Did you see who pushed you?'
'Now, while it's still fresh in your mind tell me again how big was that chipmunk that attacked you.'
"I want to report a race crime.'
Tags:crime, crimes, witness statement, witness statements, bike, bikes, bike theft, racer, racers, racing, race, report, reports, parody, parodies, police, police station, police stations, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, law, bike, bicycle, pun, puns, play on words, wordplay, word play
"So you last saw your father in the kitchen while your mother was making him a birthday cake?"
Tags:birthday cake, birthday cakes, birthday, birthdays, cake, cakes, egg, eggs, witness statement, witness statements, witness testimony, witness testimonies, policemen, policeman, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, copper, coppers, murder, murders, murder plot, murder plots, murderer, murderers, recipe, recipes, ingredient, ingredients, cookbook, baking, baker, bakers
"This is you! Is this your way of confessing?"
"Don't ask me for a description, I might change my mind about wanting him back."
Tags:missing person, missing people, missing persons department, description, descriptions, witness statement, witness statements, police station, ugly, ugliness, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, marital problem, marital problems, policemen, policeman, desk sergeant, desk sergeants
"Luckily, a lot of people had their phones out, so we've got about a dozen i-witnesses."