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'Since the cuts this is what we get instead of an incapacity benefits officer.'
'I've been to the benefits office and it turns out I AM entitled to my own opinion!'
'You've been coming here so long that you'll probably be invited to the staff Christmas party!'
Cycle to the dole scheme.
I'm afraid you don't qualify for welfare benefits, but if you were to run for Congress, you could probably get public campaign financing!
"Take me to your benefits office."
"Left at the charity shop, second right at the soup kitchen, right at the food bank, then straight on to the benefits office."
"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."