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'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'
'I don't think it's a good idea for you to claim the cost of steroids as a tax deduction.'
'Yes, I do have amazing jumping power but I eat only performance enhancing bugs.'
Buy the performance enhancer of champions! 'Since when are US athletes doing product-endorsements for steroids?'
"Oh, just swapping over to a renewable energy source..."
Your cardiac elephant is safe - an athlete who died of doping has donated his heart!