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'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'
"That's all very nice, Jefferson, but do you have any other new business?"
"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."
"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark
'Today the dollar fell against all currencies with strange sounding names.'
"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."
Tags:parenting, modern life, children, father, fathers, dad, dads, parent, parents, parenting, formal, formal record, fromal records, update, updates, businessman, businessmen, son, sons, status update, status updates, updating, childhood, child, kid, kids, business report, business reports, mankoff
'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'
'In the future, Clayton, always make sure you have your decimal points correctly placed.'
'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'
'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'
Today stocks fell on news that no one really has a clue why stocks rise and fall.
'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'
'I think my dad's favorite team is the 'the bulls'.'
'As you can see here our downward trend exceeded even the expectations of the people who make our graphs.'
"Gold prices fell. I guess we're not worth that much today."
'Stocks rebounded from the downturn on news that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'
Some good economic news today...the dollar gained against the value of the quarter, dime and nickel.
Day of the Living Quarterly Report Accountants.
"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."
Tags:business report, business reports, presentation, presentations, presentation skill, presentation skills, graph, graphs, chart, charts, confusion, confusing, merger, mergers, business merger, business mergers, boardroom, boardrooms, corporate structure, office structure, corporate politics, office politics
'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'
"Today stocks rebounded from the downturn on news that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
"This is super. I asked for super-duper."
Tags:performance review, performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, super power, super powers, hard to please, impossible to please, job performance, review, not good enough, business report, office job, office jobs, super hero, boss, picky boss, management, work
'Then...we went back and identified moments that cried out for a song.'
'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'
"He's plotting losses."