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'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'
"Crime, as I conceptualized it, didn't pay."
"This report to the shareholders….Which is the misinformation and which is the disinformation."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, shareholder meeting, shareholder meetings, meeting, meetings, share, shares, investor, investors, investment, investments, stockholder, stockholders, disinformation, misinformation, business jargon, financial jargon, corporate jargon, quarterly report, quarterly reports
"I was on the cutting edge. I pushed the envelope. I did the heavy lifting. I was the rainmaker. Then I ran out of metaphors."
"And now let's practice risk management!"
"Good night, son - sweet dreams and a great sleep experience."
"I like it. It's dumb without trying to be clever."
Tags:business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, executive, executives, manager, managers, meeting, meetings, business meetings, business meeting, board meeting, board meetings, advertising, advertisers, plan, plans, mock-up, mock up, mock-ups, mock ups, mockup, mockups, incompetence, incompetent, buzzword, buzzwords, corporate, corporation, corporations, corporate buzzword, corporate buzzwords, jargon, corporate jargon, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, dumb, dumbness
"I'm sure she'll be back soon. She's just somewhere integrating awareness about something."
Tags:phone message, phone messages, corporate jargon, jargon, buzzword, buzzwords, corporate, corporate speech, corporate speak, corporate culture, office culture, integration, integrating awareness, integrate, self-help, self-help workshop, self-help workshops, consciousness, collective consciousness
'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'
"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."
"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."
'Inform their C.E.O., C.F.O. and C.O.O. that their proposal is D.O.A..'
"Hey! How about giving me some benchmarks?"
"Thanks, it's hard to believe I've been with the company for a hundred and twenty quarters."
'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'
"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."
"Which swoosh best describes our corporate philosophy?"
"Our mandates almost overlapped."
'I was just given more responsibility. Now I am not only responsible for corporate mumbo but also for corporate jumbo.'
Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'
Tags:business meeting, business meetings, board meeting, board meetings, business man, business men, business people, business person, businessmen, businessman, businessperson, conference, conferences, meeting, meetings, business conference, business conferences, graphs, graph, chart, charts, blank graph, blank graphs, request, requests, requesting, any requests, cliche, corporate, corporate world, jargon, corporate jargon, stats, statistics, misleading statistics, meaningless statistics, fake news
"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."
"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"
Tags:cahoot, cahoots, being in cahoots, merger, mergers, competitive, competition, competitions, competitiveness, market, markets, rival, rivals, rivalry, rivalries, business merger, business mergers, corporate merger, corporate mergers, businessmen, businessman, corporate jargon, business jargon, conspiracy, conspiracies, partnership, partnerships
"I used to be known as Mr. Nice Guy, but I bought my way out."
Tags:business jargon, corporate jargon, corporate culture, businessmen, businessman, mr. nice guy, mr nice guy, bad reputation, bad reputations, good reputation, good reputations, reputation, reputations, office job, office jobs, corporate environment, exec, execs, executive, executives, cut-throat, cut throat, office politics, cutthroat environment, cutthroat, backstabbing, corporate ladder, climbing to the top
"You say it's a win-win, but what if you're wrong-wrong and it all goes bad-bad?"
Tags:win-win, win, situation, business pitch, business pitches, businessmen, businessman, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, business plan, business plans, business strategy, business strategies, corporate culture, win-win situation, profit, profits, business jargon, corporate jargon