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"Squirrel news of the day: Same as yesterday. Good night and good luck."
Slow News Day
"Eastbound traffic is moving nicely. Westbound we have a two car pile-up on the shoulder. No, wait - they're just shootin' the breeze."
Slow news day.
"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."
'After a brief advertorial for 'Love thy neighbor,' we'll be back with more or 'kill or be killed!''
Slow News Day: Budgie Caged
No News is Good News
'Look at this, no trouble anywhere. I want my money back.'
'Slow day on Wall Street. The good news was there's no bad news...the bad news was there's no good news.'
'It's a slow news day - how about we just trash Sarah Palin for a while?'
It's a slow news day - how about we just trash Sarah Palin for a while?
Today is the slowest news day in 37 years — for a report on that, we switch you to....
A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel
"Listen, it's hot and I'm tired and they look really energetic. I say we go snooze under the tree and hope that tomorrow is a slow gnus day."