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"Quick, Jerry! A drink for Ted. He tried to put a penny in an old man's hat."
"Lookin' good, Frosty!"
Tags:holiday, holidays, weight gain, weight loss, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, lose weight, losing weight, lost weight, compliment, compliments, complimenting, diet, diets, dieting, new year's resolution, new years resolution, resolution, resolutions, christmas, christmas season, snowman, snowmen, frosty, christmas song, christmas songs
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas."
Due to privacy concerns Santa no longer sees you when you're sleeping, or when you're awake.
'You do realise this means 2000 years of Christmas records.'
The Ghost Of Christmas Past
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas with the In-Your-Face Country Carollers"
Tags:caroller, carollers, carol, carols, christmas, christmas carol, christmas carols, xmas, x-mas, christmas song, christmas songs, aggressive, aggression, holiday season, christmas season, choir, choirs, singer, singers, singing, sing, sings, country, country music, country musician, country musicians
"It's the most wonderful time of the year."
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."
Tags:science, experiment, experiments, scientist, scientists, mad, evil, crazy, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, literature, book, books, novel, novels, frankenstein, the modern prometheus, mary shelley, dead, corpse, corpses, dead body, dead bodies, zombie, zombies, christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, song, songs, famous song, famous songs, lyrics, music, christmas song, christmas songs, christmas music, singing, singer, singers
The revised 12 days of Christmas
'The cattle are lowing...'
'If you're thinking of getting me any of those gifts...'
"What the...? I said 'guide my sleigh' not 'drive my sleigh'."
"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake."
Tags:big brother, big brother is watching you, nanny state, cctv, christmas, christmas song, christmas songs, carol, carols, chirstmas carol, christmas carols, carol singer, carol singers, snoopers charter, father christmas, santa claus, freedom of speech, intelligence services, surveillance, cctc camera, cctv cameras, closed-circuit television
Rudloph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Goes Down in History.
'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''
"As spokesman for Mary and the whole Joseph family, I've been asked to request you not 'parum pum pum pum' while the baby is sleeping."
Now that Rudolph could play with all of the other reindeer, he couldn't decide if he should.
Tags:reindeer, reindeer games, rudolph, rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, rudolph the red nosed reindeer, christmas carol, christmas carols, christmas song, christmas songs, poker, poker player, poker players, poker tell, poker tells, card game, card games, gambling, gambler, gamblers, indecision, christmas, x-mas, xmas
"Yes Santa, you do qualify for a tummy tuck but I'm pretty sure that would violate my hippocratic oath somehow."
Tags:hippocratic oath, hippocratic oaths, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, do no harm, santa's belly, bowl full of jelly, tummy tuck, tummy tucks, plastic surgery, plastic surgeries, plastic surgeon, plastic surgeons, christmas song, christmas songs, christmas carol, christmas carols, christmas, xmas, x-mas
"Now that Google owns Fitbit, they know when I am sleeping, they know when I'm awake..."
"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."
Tags:christmas, christmas season, christmas seasons, holiday season, holiday seasons, carol, carols, christmas carol, christmas carols, christmas song, christmas songs, pear tree, pear trees, 12 days of christmas, caroling, children's song, children's songs, misunderstanding, misunderstood, misunderstand, lyrics, incorrect lyrics, wrong lyrics, mishear, mishears, misheard
Warning: No Bob, Bob Bobbing Along. By Order of the Health and Safety Executive.
"Fetch my slippers, newspaper and a partridge in a pear tree."
Tags:christmas carol, christmas carols, xmas carol, xmas carols, carol, carols, christmas song, christmas songs, xmas song, xmas songs, festive period, dog, dogs, pet, pets, dog trick, dog tricks, obedience training, partridge in a pear tree, 12 days of christmas, twelve days of christmas, canine, canines
"Your mother and I are tired of your reindeer games."
'We don't do caroling anymore, sir. We'll give you an URL where you can download the greatest Christmas songs!'