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'Have you thought about aging slower? Your 401(k) is in terrible shape.'
Though he had been retired for only three days, Marilyn was already growing tired of having Clyde around all day long.
'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'
'Never mind the pension scheme - I'm just hoping I can pay off my student loan before I retire!'
'I'm afraid we've had the results back and it's bad news...he could live to be a hundred.'
"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."
Tags:aarp, middle life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, hug, hugs, cuddle, cuddles, comfort, comforting, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, ageing, aging, ageing process, depressed, depression, hugging, wife, wives, husband, husbands, married life, rite of passage, rites of passage, elderly, lobby, american association of retired persons, retirement, retirements, retired, retirement age
Old People of the Future.
"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."
Tags:saving, savings, retirement plan, retirement plans, retirement fund, retirement funds, retirement planning, unmarked bill, unmarked bills, ira contribution, ira contributions, 401k, 401(k), retirement, retirements, saving, savings, savings account, savings accounts, financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
Retiring from the rat race
Social Security is unable to support the weight of America's baby boomers.
"My 401(k) is safe. It's tied up in booze futures."
"I'm retiring the line 'water under the bridge'."
"Cheer up, dear. He and Nancy are going to have a perfectly lovely life out in Bel Air."
'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'
'It was an early-retirement offer I couldn't turn down. They threw a pile of money my way, asked me to disappear in a puff of smoke, and before they could change their minds, I was gone!'
"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"
Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...
'It's a questionnaire asking why you're interested in early retirement.'
'I'm looking for a go-getter, with management experience. I want the new hire to change the way we do business by transforming our organization into a leaner meaner machine. I don't want anything to go into effect until I retire.'
"I am therefore stepping down to spend more time with my family—but not with my wife, Tammy, who can be really annoying."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, press conference, press conferences, media, press, camera, cameras, announcement, announcements, stepping down, retiring, retirement, retirements, retire, resign, resignation, resignations, spend more time, spend time, spend time with family, family, families, family problems, family issues, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, marriage, marriages, married life, annoying, except, exception, exceptions
'I stopped worrying about how much I needed to retire on when I realized there was no way I can ever retire.'
"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."
Tags:pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, senior, seniors, retirement, retirements, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle aged, grownup, grown-up, grown up, kid, kids, child, children, maturity, alone time, married life, family-life, family life, failure to launch, living with your parents, cutting, apron strings, live at home, living at home, burden, burdens, grow old, grows old, growing old, adult child, fly the coop, flying the coop
'I understand that Mrs. Doan is retiring at the end of the semester.'
"Well, I guess that pretty much takes care of our retirement plans."
'We've got to get our clients to think of long term investments. By long term, I man until we retire.'