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'I'm looking for a man who enjoys long walks on the beach... so he has something to do while I'm shopping.'
The men of your dreams
Men. After shelling out for flowers, dinner and a movie, they all expect the same thing: a refund.
'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'
'Flowers, dinner, and a movie, and that's my last offer!'
I think we're on the same wave length.
Tall, Dark, and Handsome chats with Buxom Blonde.
"I like him but Joe would prefour our relationship to remain a stalker/stalkee one for the time being."
'I think he's getting serious about me -- he bookmarked my website!'
'By the way, I usually sneeze in twos. So that's another interesting thing about me.'
'And another thing is he thinks 11:11:11 is a cooler time than 12:34:56, I mean 11:11:11... could he be any more trite?'
They were young and in love, and Harold would spend whole weekends counting the freckles on Arlene's back, Of course they were also incredibly stupid,,, Arlene only had seven freckles,
'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'
To help his date recognize him from their online chats, Burt wore his PC monitor helmet.
'Actually I placed two ads. Are you a mature, established, educated, single, serious man . . .'
'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'
"Don't mind me - I sometimes wake up in her dreams."
Cut out and keep your own Mr Darcy!
"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."
'I just think we should be together'.
"Years ago a fortune cookie told me that I'd soon meet the man of my dreams. We've been married for decades now and I'm still waiting!"
'Gosh, Cynthia, I just adore that wistful 'I'd rather be anywhere else but here' look in your eyes whenever we're together!'
'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'
'We are so in sync!'
'Dear there is a man out there for you... avoid him.'