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'Have you thought about aging slower? Your 401(k) is in terrible shape.'
Unusual Retirement Plans
Tags:pension, pensions, pensioner, pensioners, 401k, 401ks, 401(k), retirement savings, retirement savings account, retirement savings accounts, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial planner, financial planners, investment, investments, investing, investor, investors, savings, savings account, savings account, irresponsible
Frosty's Retirement Plan
Why there are financial planners.
Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.
"Be truthful with me, Ben-what's the difference between mid cap and large cap?"
Tags:market capitalization, market capital, market capitalisation, mid cap, mid cap company, mid cap companies, large cap, large cap company, large cap companies, ignorant, ignorance, investor, investors, investment, investments, date, dates, dating, truthful, question, questions, investment advice, invest, invests, financial planner, financial planners, financial planning
'You're better off without him.'
'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'
'You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet.'
Your portfolio looks fine. It's your dreams we need to talk about.
'If you want to save for the winter forget nuts, go with mutual funds.'
When Financial Planners Go To Prison.
"There's always an element of risk. No one has a crystal ball. OK, I have one, but no one knows how it works."
'You should start socking a few bucks away for retirement.'
'Financial planning requires long-term thinking. Especially if you get caught.'
'The content of your character, I'm sorry to say, doesn't figure in your net worth.'
"It's great that you showed me how to get my 401K to roll over, but now it just plays dead."
Tags:financial services, investing, investments, 401k, pensions, retirement services, investment advisors, money, banking, stock market, stocks, money markets, wall street, financial planning, financial planners, money managers, pensioner, pensioners, retirement, retirement account, retirement accounts, retirement savings, savings account, savings accounts, roll over, rolling over
"Help! I haven't saved enough for retirement!"
"Every day I ask myself, 'Am I embezzling enough for retirement?' "
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, white collar crime, white-collar crime, embezzlement, embezzle, embezzler, embezzlers, misappropriation, skimming, stealing, retire, retirement, savings, retirement savings, money, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, mid life crisis, mid-life crisis, midlife crisis, bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, finances, financial planning, financial planner, financial planners, financial plan, financial plans, saving for retirement
"With house prices the way they are then the idea of a 'lifetime' mortgage makes a lot of sense."
"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"
Tags:invest, invests, investor, investors, investing, stock, stocks, shares, stocks and shares, stock market, stock markets, share price, share prices, investment, investments, financial advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, buying stocks, dog, dogs, investment consultant, investment consultants, financial planner, financial planners, financial planning
"I expected more from my financial planeer than, "Look for a fast food place that's hiring."'
'Say, isn't that our financial planner dealing blackjack over there?'
"I don't believe in you. Besides, if you'r real, why do you need to worry about retirement investments? Aren't you timeless?"
"Of course, you can always supplement your retirement income with panhandling."
Tags:bank, banks, banking, money, finances, personal finance, personal finances, financial planner, financial planners, financial planning, retirement, retirement planning, retirement savings, savings, income, pension, pensions, retirement income, supplement, addition, additions, extra, extra income, panhandling, begging, hustling, poor, poverty, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, couple, couples