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"This is the part of religion we could do without."
"Look, it could be worse - at least we're dead."
Puppetry for the damned
"It's not the heat - it's the eternal damnation."
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
"At least you have something to look back on. Mine were all sins of omission."
"All right, so there's been a mistake. Deal with it!"
"You're never going to be happy if your only definition of success is Heaven."
Tags:heaven, hell, hellbound, hellfire, damned, damnation, eternal damnation, success, successful, measure of success, measures of success, high bar, high bars, set a high bar, sets a high bar, setting a high bar, happy, happiness, unhappy, unhappiness, definition of success, definitions of success, unsuccessful, unrealistic, realistic, realistic, afterlife, afterlives
"I'm a huge fan of your work."
Tags:devil, satan, lucifer, prince of darkness, devils, hell, beelzebub, mephistopheles, pitchfork, pitchforks, hell fire, hellfire, admiration, admire, admires, fan, fans, immoral, moral judgment, moral judgement, moral judgments, moral judgements, morality, bad person, bad people, citizens of hell
"Grab a fork and pitch in if you want to. Not that it matters. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't."
Tags:pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, man of god, men of god, chapel, chapels, congregation, congregations, mass, masses, flock, flocks, churchgoer, churchgoers, christian, christians, bad mood, bad moods, hellfire, hell fire, warning, warnings, warn, warns, caution, cautions, caution sign, caution signs, threat level, threat levels
'We pioneered hot-desking.'
And you thought it couldn't get any worse.
"That used to be mine."
"I worked here for six years before I noticed it was Hell."
Tags:hell, hells, hellfire, hell-fire, underworld, hades, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, devil, devils, lucifer, sins, corporate culture, corporate environment, corporate environments, corporate ethics, business ethics, office politics, vice, vices, greed, greedy, greediness
"I've been poached!"
"It was just fifteen minutes of fame, but they were real doozies."
"Am I getting warmer?"
"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."
Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons
"When I first got here I thought, this isn't so bad, I can handle this...and then the polka music started!"
The Hellish Sermon
"Ice water? Here? What the hay!"
'Leave my kingdom! Go now, or I will doom your pathetic souls to eternal hellfire!'
Tags:golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, squirrel, squirrels, red squirrel, red squirrels, plan, plans, planning, planned, scare, scares, scared, scaring, leave, leaves, leaving, left, order, orders, ordering, command, commands, commanding, commanded, commander, devil, devils, hell, hellfire, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'It's worse than I'd expected!'