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"Gays and lesbians aren't a threat to the sanctity of my marriage. It's all the straight women who sleep with my husband."
'During the three-year gap in my employment history I was working on my marriage.'
'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you because you're always drunk.'
"Shall we run through that half-nelson again Mrs Pickering?"
'Things must be pretty tough on poor Marge since Frank left.'
'I think he's got a fancy woman - someone's been darning his socks.'
Can I take it a reconciliation is on the cards?'