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"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"
Tags:subway, train, trains, metro, underground, tube, seat, seats, seat hog, seat hogs, hogging the seat, garbage bag, garbage bags, rubbish bag, rubbish bags, bag, bags, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, married life, couple, couples, marriage, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, dead, body, bodies, dead body, dead bodies, murder, murders, murdered, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, killed, widow, widows, stuff, wife, wives, husband, husbands
"It looks a lot like him, but he would never have worn a tag on his toe like that."
Tags:toe tag, toe tags, body label, body labels, corpse, corpses, body, bodies, identification, identifications, formal identification, formal identifications, next of kin, next-of-kin, fashion statement, fashion statements, toe-tag, toe-tags, fashions, widow, widows, murder victim, murder victims, crime victim, crime victims
"He did it my way."
Tags:dying, grave, graves, gravestone, gravestones, tombstone, tombstones, grave stone, grave stones, tomb stone, tomb stones, widow, widows, widower, widowers, widowed, grief, grieving, remembrance, cemetery, cemeteries, gender issues, gender issues, advice, giving advice, bad advice, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes
"I'm afraid there's really very little I can do."
Tags:death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestones, buried, doctor, doctors, stethoscope, stethoscopes, widow, widows, hope, too late, patient, patients, husband, husbands, wife, wives, little i can do, nothing to be done, no cure, no cure for death, medicine, medical, marriage, marriages
"We even tried a visit from a celebrity."
A pig mourns her husband at a funeral as the guests eat.
Tags:pig, pigs, pork, hog, hogs, hog roast, hog roasts, funeral, funerals, vegetarian, vegetarians, carnivore, carnivores, wake, wakes, roast, roasts, vegan, vegans, veganism, guilt, guilt-inducing, guilting, widow, widows, widowed, cater, caters, catering, caterer, caterers, pork roll, pork rolls, pork bun, pork buns, whole hog, funeral rites
"Would you please stop saying 'It's your funeral'. It's my husband's funeral."
"I would have thought you'd be pleased."
Tags:king, kings, queen, queens, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, history, historical, medieval, jester, jesters, fool, fools, comedian, comedians, juggler, jugglers, juggling, death, dead, widow, widows, husband, husbands, dead husband, dead husbands, wife, wives, shocked, surprised, too soon, mourning, grieving, head, heads, executed, execution, executions, capital punishment, punishments, decapitated, decapitation, decapitations, rebellion, rebellions, revolution, revolutions
"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."
Tags:fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, psychic, psychics, client, clients, customer, customers, crystal ball, crystal balls, crystallomancy, crystal-gazing, scrying, vision, visions, divination, seer, seers, occult, supernatural, dead, death, spirit, spirits, seance, seances, widow, widows, husband, husbands, ghost, ghosts, fraud, scam, scams, wasting money, waste of money
"He was doing just fine till he choked on one of those flexible straws."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, waiting room, waiting rooms, waiting area, waiting areas, icu, intensive care unit, i.c.u., death, choking, choked, straw, straws, plastic straw, plastic straws, flexible, drinking straw, drinking straws, drink, drinks, drinking, bad news, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dead husband, dead husbands, widow, widows, mourning, grieving, bereaved, hospital food, hospital meals, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"I've always thought it was eerie. He expired the same day as his Visa card."
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, widow, widows, death, dead, expired, credit card, credit cards, bank card, bank cards, charge card, charge cards, debit card, debit cards, plastic money, shopping, shopper, shoppers, avid shopper, avid shoppers, consumerism, eerie, creepy, scary, spooky, bizarre, coincidence, coincidences, fate
'He wouldn't let go of his chair.'
"Hey, don't I get a receipt?"
"I'm a golf widow. I hit my husband with a nine Iron."
Introducing Mrs. Dumpty
"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, waiting area, waiting areas, waiting room, waiting rooms, death, dead, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, too late, dead husband, dead husbands, widow, widows, unhealthy, fitness, exercise, exercising, gym equipment, exercise equipment, exercise machine, exercise machines, exercise bike, exercise bikes, bad news, obesity crisis, obesity, overweight
"That's the fourth husband she's put in the ground without any concern for what it's doing to the environment."
"Would you like his gun back? We'll have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers."
"No wonder we could get tickets."
Tags:theater, theaters, theatre, theatres, stage, stages, auditorium, auditoriums, play, plays, show, shows, performance, performances, audience, entertainment, death, funeral, funerals, memorial, memorials, wake, wakes, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, mourning, mourner, mourners, grief, grieving, widow, widows, crying, ticket, tickets, bad play, bad plays, bad performance, bad performances, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, good acting, good actor, good actors, good actress, good actress, realistic
Tags:trophy husband, trophy husbands, trophy wife, trophy wives, husband, husbands, wife, wives, trophy, trophies, show-off, show off, showing-off, showing off, display, displaying, displayed, hunt, hunter, hunters, hunted, hunting, hunting trophy, hunting trophies, taxidermy, head, heads, mounted, rich, rich people, greed, greedy, selfish, marriage, marriages, dating, relationship, relationships, widow, widows, collection, collections, collector, collectors, gold diggers, gold digger, black widows, black widow, gender roles, gender role, gender stereotype
"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."
Tags:why did the chicken cross the road, bad joke, bad jokes, riddle, riddles, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married, chicken, chickens, single, newly single, widow, widows, death, die, died, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour
"I need to wait until the euphoria wears off before I start dating again."
Tags:death, date, dating, dates, euphoria, happy, happiness, reaction, reactions, sad, sadness, grief, grieving, relationship, relationships, funeral, funerals, mourn, mourns, mourning, deaths, died, dies, unusual reaction, wait, waiting, waits, waited, widow, widowed, widows, widowing, widower, widowers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married, marriage
'I still can't believe he's not snoring.'
"Grief takes many forms. But don't worry, we're here to help you fill them out."