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"I'm flexible—I want to be rich and famous, but I'll settle for rich."
"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."
"I'm an idealist - I'd like to make my pile at a non-profit organization."
"Mr. Berkowitz, I and my Jewish career counselor, hereby wish you a mazel tov on your birthday."
'To be honest, I've never known for my work ethic.'
"Early retirement is an OK long-term goal, Kevin, but most folks need to get a job first."
"So far, all my internships have just segued to other internships."
'Follow your dreams unless of course, it involves dropping out of school to join a rock band.'
"Based on your poor academic results, I would recommend a career in politics..."
"No, no - I said, what are your goals in life!"
"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"
"Your best bet, Ralph, is to win the lottery..."
"The school psychologist says that I'm totally stupid and free of any talent. Great, that's the best qualification to become a superstar!"
Career Counselor: 'You should have come to me sooner, before George W. Bush was president.'
'Frankly - I don't see much chance of making a career out of backpacking!'