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'How late do you expect to be working?'
'This investment fund idea looks promising, Harlow, but could you think up a catchier name than 'Ponzi Scheme'?'
'You should start socking a few bucks away for retirement.'
Investments: 'We now offer 'social conscience' funds and 'corporate ethics' funds'.
"People are unsure as to why they should continue to invest in highly paid fund managers..."
Armageddon Investment Fund
"And the good news is there is no tax on return of capital."
'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'
"Looks like we invested in a dysfunctional family of funds."
"I never dreamed the substantial early withdrawal penalty was the fund itself."
'Those growth funds you sold me didn't work.'
'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'
"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."
"I'd like to reinvest my allowance into the family...but promise you won't spend my inheritance when you retire."
Piggy Banks: High Tech Funds, Health Care Funds, Real Estate Funds.
"We need to fix an enormous hole in the pension fund. Can I suggest a jumble sale?"