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'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'
Bad Heir Day
'He just snapped.'
"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."
Tags:mourner, mourners, mourning, griever, grievers, grief, griefs, grieving, mourn, mourned, emoticon, emoticons, smiley, smileys, funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, eulogy, eulogies, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, outpouring, emotional outpouring, funeral attendance, funeral attendances
'His greatest achievement was to write a glowing obituary about himself.'
"He was an amazing ventriloquist. Nobody knew just how amazing until now."
Headstone: RIP/Nothing Left To Prove.
'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'
'Ugh! You've got bad mourning breath!'
"But, seriously. . ."
Tags:grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, gravestone, gravestones, tomb, tombs, mourner, mourners, mourning, mourn, mourned, griever, grievers, grief, griefs, burial, burials, cemetery, cemeteries, sense of humour, inappropriate, inappropriateness, joke, jokes, sense of humor, funeral, funerals, funeral humour, funeral humor
'I should never have left that glass slipper out where he could chew on it.'
'Looks like Joanie lost another turtle.'
'We're sorry for your loss. but it must be a consolation to know that his death didn't effect our targets.'
'If it's any consolation we did manage to keep him alive long enough to not effect this quarters mortality figures!'
Next time let's stay in touch!
"You're right, he does look more peaceful in business casual."
'I heard you were available.'
"Having said that..."
"Tell the guys not to make any jokes about me for at least ten days."
'That's Jenson, an ad man to the last.'
'He may be gone, but his spirit is still with us.'
"Remember, no talking during visitation ... my wife thinks I'm dead."
Tags:death, marriage, relationships, funeral, funerals, coffin, coffins, wife, wives, husband, husbands, deception, deceptions, mourner, mourners, mourning, mourn, mourns, mourned, widower, widowers, widow, widows, trick, tricks, life insurance, insurance scam, insurance scams, visiting hours, marital problems
'The doctors never gave up.'
'I lost my dog.'