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"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
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"And may the Lord in his wisdom see to it that we get our hands on some of that government scratch."
"No, a question period will not follow!"
Tags:sermon, sermons, jesus, sermon on the mount, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, ministry, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, worship, worships, question session, questions sessions, q&a, q & a, question and answer session, question, questions, theology, theologian, theologians, religious debate, religious debates, religious belief, religious beliefs
"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"
Thoughts and Prayers
THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.
Tags:television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, bird, birds, bird owner, bird owners, cage, cages, religion, religious, st. francis of assisi, saint francis of assisi, bible, entertainment, sermon, sermons, sermon to the birds, tele-evangelist, tele-evangelists, tele-evangelism, saint, saints, christianity, catholicism, patron saint, patron saints, patron saint of animals, preaching, preacher, preachers
Wolf in a men's clothing store buying a sheepskin outfit
Tags:animal, animals, wolf, wolves, big bad wolf, suit, suits, tailor, tailors, shop, shops, store, stores, menswear, men's fashion, fashion, style, clothes, clothing, men's clothes, men's clothing, new clothes, new clothing, shopping, clothes shopping, sheepskin, wolf in sheep's clothing, outfit, outfits, bible, biblical, idiom, idioms, expression, expressions, new testament, jesus, jesus christ, religion, religious, sermon, sermons, aesop, aesop's fables, fable, fables, literature, story, stories
'And he said, Come unto me, for it's not what you know, but who you know.'
'I imagine you were pretty nervous addressing an army of experts.'
"I don't show up here as much as I'd like, Doctor, but I always try to catch your stuff on the air."
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"Good sermon, Reverend, but all that God stuff was pretty far-fetched."
Tags:church, churches, sermon, sermons, preach, preaching, preacher, preachers, priest, priests, reverend, reverends, clergyman, clergymen, pastor, pastors, god, bible, religion, religious, religion problems, non-believer, non-believers, unbeliever, unbelievers, belief, beliefs, atheist, atheism, atheists, far-fetched, fantasy, imagination, imaginary
"Stop me if you've heard this one before."
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"I just want to thank you for not naming names."
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'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth, but not the oil and mineral rights.'
'Thank you, Reverend. We loved you sermon on ending partisan gridlock in Washington.'
God's Wrath Level: high.
Tags:fire and brimstone, church, churches, church sign, church signs, sermon, sermons, god's wrath, vengeance, vengeful, vengeful god, vengeful gods, jealous god, jealous gods, christian, christianity, fundamentalist, fundamentalists, fundamentalism, sin, sins, sinning, sinner, sinners, christians, anger, angers, angering
'If the Pope is pious, does that mean he's full of pie?'
Today's Sermon: If you're unhappy with government intervention, try divine intervention.
"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."
'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'
"Isn't he wonderful? You get the feeling he's looking and talking directly to you."
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit about fifteen per cent of the earth, a hundred-per-cent increase over what they have today."
Tags:blessed are the meek, sermon, sermons, sermon on the mount, jesus, tax bracket, tax brackets, campaign speech, campaign speeches, speech, speeches, homily, homilies, political speech, political speeches, minister, ministers, inherit, inherits, inheriting, tax cut, tax cuts, inheritance tax, death tax, religious right, right-wing, spin, spins, spin zone, spin zones, economics, supply-side economics, trickle-down economics, jesus, jesus christ