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'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'
"I think it's his beeper."
Tags:beeper, beepers, pager, pagers, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, ring, rings, ringing, funeral, funerals, casket, caskets, wireless, signal, signals, faux pas, beeping, noise, noises, sound, sounds, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral homes, disturb, disturbs, disturbing, wake, wakes, dead, dead body, dead bodies
"He isn't dead yet."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, died, mourn, mourning, old, old age, elderly, elder, elders, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, planning, arrangement, prepare, preparation, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, casket, coffin, senior living, neglected, forgotten, funeral director, funeral parlour, funeral home
A hearse with a vulture hood ornament.
Tags:transportation, vehicle, vehicles, hearse, hearses, funeral coach, funeral coaches, hood ornament, hood ornaments, bonnet ornament, bonnet ornaments, radiator cap, radiator caps, vulture, vultures, funeral director, funeral directors, funeral home, funeral homes, mortuary, mortuaries, funeral parlor, funeral parlors, funeral parlour, funeral parlours, undertaker, undertakers, mortician, morticians, dead, death
'I know you have a technical background, but here we call them caskets, not 'dropdown boxes.'
"Would you like his gun back? We'll have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers."
"No, the urns are pretty much one size fits all."
He's still in denial.
"Talk about your cut-rate operations...."
Tags:cut-rate, cut-rate operation, cut-rate operations, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral homes, die, dies, dying, discount, discounted, discounting, cheap, cheapness, cut-rate price, cut-rate prices, bodybag, bodybags, body bag, body bags, corpse, corpses, bury, buries, burying, burial, burials, indifferent, uncaring, funeral industry, funeral industries, dark humor, black humor
"Wrong line, buddy."
Tags:funeral, funerals, funeral home, wake, wakes, dead, death, dying, died, die, passed, passed away, celebration of life, remembrance of life, deceased, deceased person, deceased people, funeral procession, funeral processions, line, lines, buffet line, buffet, food, cannibalism, dark humor, dark humour, black humour, black humor, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, burial, burials, cremate, cremation, cremated, buried, funeral director, funeral directors, mourn, mourning, mourner, mourners, embalmer, embalmers, embalming
Dog Park and Pet Funeral Home.
Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.
"Trust me - he's going to a better place."
"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."
"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''
Jousting Knight Advertises for Funeral Home.
'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'
"We never say 'death'—we prefer 'deadness.' "
"Miss Gorce is in the embalming game."
"Glad you made it. It's opening night."
Tags:drama, actor, actors, show biz, show business, open casket funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, opening night, opening nights, mourner, mourners, griever, grievers, grieving, grief, showbiz, death, opening night, funeral, funeral home, visitation, open casket, closed casket, perspective
"At least he went quick. Although not quick enough, I'm afraid. This discount coupon expired last month."
Tags:funeral home, discount coupon, funeral arrangements, death, dying, funeral, funerals, funeral cost, funeral costs, funeral homes, discount coupons, discount, discounts, undertaker, undertakers, getting a deal, frugal, tightwad, special offer, special offers, watch your pennies, expiry date, best before date
Undertaker's Staff Party (drinks are on the hearse).
"This will lighten your mood, Dick - every few minutes, a baby boomer turns fifty."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, middle age, middle aged, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral home, funeral director, funeral directors, lighten the mood, lightens the mood, lightening the mood, optimistic, optimism, booming business, booming businesses, windfall, windfalls, demand, market demand, growth industry, growth industries, grow old, grows old, growing old
"You measured him! Does it shut?"
"You grabbed Uncle Lars's casket again."