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A Golfer's Funeral
"And just where do you people think you're going? This service isn't over yet!"
"It was a hot, humid night and he was floating around in the dark and didn't hear it!..."
"We are gathered here today to celebrate Colin's life as a high-wire walker."
Tags:eulogy, eulogies, high-wire walker, high-wire walkers, high wire, high wires, high-wire, high-wires, high wire walker, high wire walkers, trapeze artist, trapeze artists, circus act, circus acts, circus, circuses, funeral, funerals, funeral ceremony, funeral ceremonies, mourner, mourners, circus performer, circus performers
"I haven't told Barry yet, but I'm planning to be cremated rather than being made into bacon."
Jeff from HR is asked to deliver the eulogy...
"What about you? Would you rather leave a stump or be mulched and scattered?"
"He always loathed that picture."
Tags:bug, bugs, insect, insects, griever, grievers, grief, mourner, mourners, mourns, grieve, grieving, grief, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, open casket, open caskets, funeral ceremony, funeral ceremonies, ladybugs, funeral, funerals, mourn, mourning, death, mantis, ladybug, beetles, moths, ants, praying mantis, beetle, ant, moth, flowers, death throes
"Jeez ... and he thought those red marks on his nose were from his glasses."
"And with one last "Triple Flip", we say a fond farewell to the Amazing Zilinski."
"Well he was there a minute ago!"
Tags:escapology, escapologist, escapologists, escape artist, escape artists, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, magic act, magic acts, disappearing act, disappearing acts, disappearing trick, disappearing tricks, funeral, funerals, funeral ceremony, funeral ceremonies, marvo, death, deceased, vanished, vanishing act, vanishing acts, funeral director, funeral directors
"He went doing what he loved."
"We don't get out much nowadays. All I've got to look forward to is your funeral!"
"He was always loyal and insisted on being buried with his stilts..."
Dead Man's Handel
He never could fit in.
'Wipe that silly grin off your face!'
'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'
Funeral Director with Dead and Buried Desk Trays
Tags:funeral director, funeral directors, funeral, funerals, undertaker, undertakers, desk tray, desk trays, in tray, in trays, out tray, out trays, out-tray, out-trays, in-tray, in-trays, desk organizer, desk organiser, desk organizers, desk organisers, burial, burials, funeral ceremony, funeral ceremonies
"At least he was expendable!"
"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"
Tags:death, dead, funerals, funeral, burial, cemeteries, graveyards, graves, cemetery, grave, graveyard, deceased, corpse, passed away, psalm, psalms, bible, bible passage, vulture, vultures, buzzard, buzzards, scavenger, scavengers, grave robber, grave robbers, desecrate, desecration, extra crispy, funeral ceremony, funeral ceremonies
Erik, Viking Funeral Director