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'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'
"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."
'In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel...'
These retirement do's aren't as wild as I remember!
"In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel..."
Tags:retirement, retirement party, retirement party, office party, office parties, incompetence, incompetent worker, incompetent workers, gag reel, gag reels, mock, mocks, mocking, mockery, tease, teases, teasing, party, parties, greatest hits, greatest hits reel, greatest hits reels, career, careers, long career, long careers
"When I retired they gave me a gold watch. It stopped working when I did."
'Congratulations on your retirement. You can have this back now.'
"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."
'I hear they're putting you out to pasture.'
"And in honor of all your hard work, we're going to permanently seal your cubicle."
"I appreciate the goodbye party. However, I wasn't aware I was going anywhere."
"It's easy to spot the ones who are retiring."
Tags:burning bridges, retire, retires, retiring, retirement, boss, bosses, bad bosses, last day, last days, quit, quits, quitting, fired, firing, firings, revenge, taking revenge, vengeance, insult, insults, insulting, supervisor, supervisors, manager, managers, management, retirement party, retirement parties, mean boss, mean bosses
'This urn contains the ashes of all my annual performance reviews. They gave it to me in lieu of a gold watch, when I filed for retirement. Management said money is tight.'
"Honestly, won't you miss us?"
"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."
"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."
'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'
"I can't decide between spending long lazy days by the condo pool or getting addicted to opiates."
"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."
Tags:retirement party, retirement parties, retirement, retirements, retirement plan, retirement plans, office job, office jobs, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, working environment, working environments
"Look, I don't mind being on hold, but my retirement party is starting in five minutes."
'Maitland we had a rather splendid retirement party for you last night and someone had the fine idea of asking you to contribute to your retirement gift.'
"Congratulations on your retirement Spencer. The team suggested a gold watch but I thought it more apt if I present you with the office clock you've been watching so much for the past 35 years."
Tags:retirement clock, retirement clocks, retirement, retirements, clock, clocks, retirement party, retirement parties, office worker, office workers, watching the clock, boss, bosses, retirement gift, retirement gifts, tradition, traditions, gold watch, watching the clock, clocking off, workday, workdays, work day, work days
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