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'We're collecting for Charlie. He's leaving because he won the lottery.'
"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."
"We are having a leaving collection for Thompson in accounts....oops!"
Tags:leaving collection, leaving collections, redundancy, redundancies, lay off, lay offs, lay-off, lay-offs, leaving gift, leaving gifts, retirement gift, retirement gifts, fired, fire, fires, sack, sacks, whip round, whip rounds, whip-round, whip-rounds, office job, office jobs, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers, faux pas
'Maitland we had a rather splendid retirement party for you last night and someone had the fine idea of asking you to contribute to your retirement gift.'
'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'
'It was a parting gift when I was given subjective redundancy.'
'I want to thank everyone for the wonderful concrete boots and the watch that's good to 300 feet.'
'I'm collecting for Linda in accounting. She won the lottery and is leaving.'
'Dimitri, can I return some of those gold plated mantle clocks you sold me in bulk ?'
'Excuse me sir, but you're not allowed to take up a collection unless you work here!'
'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'
"Work another year and we'll install a battery,"
"Final bit of business, for William's leaving present are opting for the gold watch and Mediterranean cruise or the packet of out of date biscuits and photo of our collective bottoms?"
"Best wishes in your new job!"
Tags:good riddance, new job, new jobs, career, careers, career path, career paths, hr, human resources, personnel, job candidate, job candidates, referee, referees, reference, references, work environment, work environments, working environment, working environments, leaving gift, leaving gifts, boss, bosses, employee, employees, employer, employers
"...We've clubbed together to get you something as a token of our appreciation. I think the staples are included."
"Don't keep me in suspense, Michael - what did they give you, a gold watch or a cheque?"
Tags:retirement gift, retirement gifts, retirement present, retirement presents, employee, employees, employer, employers, hr, human resources, personnel, leaving gift, leaving gifts, leaving present, leaving presents, goldwatch, gold watch, gold-watch, gold-watches, goldwatches, cheque, cheques, unappreciated, check, checks
"We normally give our retirees a gold watch. But, since you were always late we just figured you didn't know how to use one."
"Since you're all leaving the company under a cloud, you'll be receiving umbrellas instead of gold watches."