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"Actually, the attraction wasn't freedom from religious persecution but, rather, the all-you-can-eat buffet."
'Funny, every November, she always seems to find herself an overweight boyfriend with life insurance.'
Happy Thanksgiving Pictures.
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."
"It's agreed. We'll teach them how to grow corn, but no one says a word about how to beat the house at Black Jack."
"Let's keep it small-just the Pilgrims, the Indians, and the Rosenthals."
"Give your people the secret to growing corm? What are you, a socialist?"
Turkey kids: Thanksgiving.
Turkey kids: Happy Thanksgiving.