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"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."
Tags:religion, religious, god, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bible, biblical, new testament, mammon, evil, business, businessman, businessmen, money, finances, wealth, wealthy, rich, greed, greedy, avarice, materialism, materialistic, communication, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, put on hold, hold, holding
'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'
"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"
"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."
Tags:prayer, prayers, praying, pray, prays, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, disappointment, dream man, dream husband, dream boyfriend
Tags:religion, religious, god, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, app, apps, application, applications, technology, praying, prayer, prayers, plague, plagues, weather, apocalypse, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, prophet, prophets, love, romance, soulmate, soulmates, holy book, bible, bibles, biblical, devil, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, game, games, social media, social networking, social network, social networks
"Saints preserve us! The boulevardier got another jaywalking ticket."
Tags:saints preserve us, god help us, saying, sayings, expression, expressions, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, plea, heavenly intervention, old age, old people, elderly, elder, elders, ageing, aging, retirement, retired, boulevardier, rich people, wealth, wealthy, rich, wealthy people, fashionable, socialite, socialites, men, man, woman, women, jaywalk, jaywalking, jaywalker, jaywalkers, ticket, traffic ticket, traffic law, traffic laws
"Peace on Earth, good will toward crows."
Tags:selfish, self-interest, self-interested, prayer, prayers, pray, prays, praying, peace on earth, world peace, nature, animal, animals, selfishness, bug, bugs, turtle, turtles, chipmunk, chipmunks, frog, frogs, crow, crows, god, ego, egotist, egotists, egotistical, species, preference, preferences, self-involved
"...and keep me a normal, healthy, American girl."
Prayers For Agnostics
"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."
Tags:priest, priests, catholic priest, catholic priests, catholic, catholics, restaurant, restaurants, family meal, family meals, grace, saying grace, pray, praying, devout, texting, text, texts, phone, phones, glued to your phone, glued to the phone, phone addict, phone addicts, modern families, modern life
"And please protect me from the appearance of wrongdoing."
Tags:religion, religious, pray, praying, prayer, prayers, guilt, guilty, politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, appearance, appearances, wrongdoing, white-collar crime, media, press, journalism, protect, protection, business, businessman, businessmen, ethics, unethical, scandal, scandals
"And may the Lord in his wisdom see to it that we get our hands on some of that government scratch."
'Wouldn't it be easier to just SMS God, rather than pray'
"All right. O.K. I'll admit that last request may have been a little over the top."
Tags:prayer, pray, praying, prayers, kneel, kneeling, god, gods, god in heaven, heaven, request, requesting, prayed, prays, religion, religious, religiously, religions, demanding, demand, demands, demanded, high maintenance, fickle, lightning, lightening, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, worship, worships
God laughs with you, not at you - unless you pray for something stupid.
"Are we allowed to pray?"
"Under the Freedom of Information Act, I'm requesting that you disclose what you have on me in your files."
Tags:foia, foia request, foia requests, request, requests, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, freedom of information, freedom of information act, freedom of information acts, disclose, discloses, disclosing, disclosure, personal information, personal info, info, information, god, almighty, judge, judges, judgment, judgments, judgement, judgements, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, ethics, government, governments, law, laws, lawyer, lawyers
"Catherine would like to share some holiday thoughts with us on the subject of gender-neutral toys."
Tags:gender neutral, holiday, holidays, christmas, christmas season, holiday season, dinner, dinners, politically correct, political correctness, speech, speeches, liberal, liberals, address, addresses, addressing, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, xmas, x-mas, pc, pc culture, politically correct culture, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, modern life, modern times
"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."
Tags:federal reserve, prayer, praying, god, gods, worship, worshiping, bank, banks, banker, chairman, chairmen, serenity prayer, chairman of the federal reserve, the fed, fed, interest rates, interest rate, inflation, alan greenspan, central bank, central banks, economy, economies, powerful, celebrity, celebrities, christian, christians, money, wisdom, religion, religions, economist, economists, dotcom boom, dot come boom, dot com bubble, dotcom bubble, important, bankers
"And may you also bless the bounty we are about to receive from that convenience store over there."
Tags:criminal, criminals, robbery, robberies, robber, robbers, thief, thieves, stick-up, stick-ups, hold-up, hold-ups, stickup, stickups, holdup, holdups, convenience store, convenience stores, religion, religious, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bless, blessings, sins, sinning, bounty, money, loot, gang, gangs, urban, urban life, urban living, city, cities, city life, living in the city, city living, modern life, found god, found religion
"Please, Lord, enough already."
Tags:enough, enough is enough, enough already, last, last resort, last resorts, desperate measures, desperation, desperate, desperately, religion, turned to religion, faith, faiths, faithful, pray, praying, prayed, prayer, prayers, god, gods, heaven, heavens, stress, stressed, stressing, existential, existential dread, existence is pain, drudge, drudgery, overwork, overworked, over work, over worked, break down, breakdown, break-down
"What does God do with all that prayer data?"
Tenodera Sinensis Athiesto (AKA the Anti-Praying Mantis).
Tags:pray, prays, prayer, prayers, praying, mantis, atheist, atheists, atheism, tenodera, sinensis, athiesto, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, nativity, nativities, scene, scenes, anti, call, calls, calling, caller, callers, file, filing, files, city, cities, hall, halls, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'When the teacher says 'heaven help me', is that praying in school?'