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"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."
"I wish I had read your resume before we got married."
Tags:husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, nagging, nag, bother, bothering, annoy, annoying, pestering, pester, disappointment, disappointed, disappointing, cv, resume, resumes, qualified, qualification, qualifications, employment, employment history, employability, regrets, regret
"According to your resumé, Jack, you're all work and no play. We like that."
'How long did you work in subliminal advertising?' - 'A split second.'
"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."
"I'm shocked! he had a resumé as long as your arm."
'Nobody has seen as many employees and CEOs coming and going as you have, Higgins. How long have you worked here now?'
"My most recent position was under a house."
Tags:wizard of oz, l. frank baum, lyman frank baum, wicked witch, employment history, working history, work history, job history, employment agency, employment agencies, hr, human resources, job interview, job interviews, career change, career changes, witch, witches, witchcraft, literary character, children's book, children's literature
'Okay, that's enough of your work history.'
"Hi. I'm the babysitter, formerly with Action Data Systems."
Tags:introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, babysitter, babysitters, babysitting, nanny, nannies, previous employment, employment history, formal, formal introduction, qualification, qualifications, unnecessary, redundant, fired, let go, worthless, avoidable, professional, professionals
'Do you have any employers references?'
"By and large this is a fine resumé. Tell me about the year in the loony bin."
"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"
Tags:personal department, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, work history, work histories, working history, working histories, work gap, work gaps, employment history, employment gap, employment gaps, biography, biographies, autobiography, autobiographies
"Sorry, but your good references don't match the passion of your bad ones."
Tags:reference, references, referee, referees, good reference, bad reference, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, job interview, work history, work histories, previous employment, employment history, job interviews, hr, human resources, personnel
"Do you have any experience as anything other than an innocent bystander?"
'Well true to my word, here's your reference.'
"Your resume says SOB, tell me more about that."
"Just when did you leave your last job?"
Tags:job seeker, job seekers, job hunting, job hunter, job hunters, unemployed, unemployment, lay off, lay offs, lay-off, lay-offs, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, hr, human resources, personnel, packing up, packed up, pack up, desk, employment history, work history
'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'
'That's funny - all of your employers that I called are now out of business.'
'In my last job I had 40 people under me. I was a grave digger.'
'Why did you leave your previous place?'
'I notice you previous five employers all spelt 'dillegent' incorrectly.'
'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'