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"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."
Tags:food, foods, food fads, faddy foods, fad, fads, faddy, faddy eaters, faddy eater, faddy eating, food intolerances, clean eating, judgement, judgy, judgemental, faddy diets, faddy diet, diet fad, diet fads, bloating, bloated, bloat, mum, mom, mother, mums, moms, mothers, floating, human balloon, human balloons, balloons, balloon
She's just discovered her IBS isn't caused by chocolate!
'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'
'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'
How long have you got? Until they discover a cure for IBS!
'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!
"Before consuming as directed, Millennial Alice needed assurance that they would not disturb her gut health."
"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, food, meal, meals, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, customer, customers, patron, patrons, guest, guests, question, questions, questioning, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, ordering food, prepared, food preparation, allergy, allergies, food allergy, food allergies, food intolerance, food intolerances, picky, fussy, choosy, dietary issues, dietary needs, dietary requirement, dietary requirements, peanut butter, jelly, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, peanut-butter-and-jelly, peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, sandwich, sandwiches, kids, kid, child, children, picky eater, picky eaters
'I keep getting stomach cramps after eating.' - 'You're probably intolerant to certain foods.' - 'Can you test for that?' - 'Yes, just eat things one by one and see what makes you ill.' - 'Won't that be slow and painful?' - 'Fingers crossed.'
First Church of Gluten-Free Communion Wafers.
'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'
'Mr Kilgore, I have reason to believe your lactose intolerance is psychological.'
"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."
Tags:diet, dietary requirement, dietary requirements, intolerance, intolerances, food intolerance, food intolerances, lard, lard issues, cooking lard, cooking with lard, pig fat, lactose intolerant, lactose intolerance, allergy, allergies, allergen, dairy allergy, dairy allergies, host, hosts bad host, bad hosts
"Where did we go wrong? Steven is the only child in his class without a food allergy."
Tags:mom, mum, moms, mums, mothers, dads, fathers, sons, mother, dad, father, son, child, kid, kids, parenthood, allergic reaction, allergic reactions, food intolerance, food intolerances, food allergies, food allergy, parent, parents, parenting, health, family life, family-life, disappointment, disappointments
"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."
'I'm taking you off porridge.'
'Cut back on the ginger.'
Investments: We now offer 'risk intolerant' support groups.'
'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'
'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'
The relationship was running smoothly until Sylvia developed a sudden intolerance to wheat
I like peanuts, but they disagree with me...
'What's your husband's intolerance ?'
'I am not lactose intolerant! Some of my best friends are dairy-based products.'
"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."