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"He's good with crops, but slow to respond in an emergency."
"Except for the actual sacrifice, all this is largely symbolic."
"Well, tell me. Is this Aztec, Mayan, Olmec, or Toltec?"
Tags:mesoamerican culture, mesoamerican cultures, aztec, mayan, mayans, maya, aztecs, olmec, olmecs, toltec, toltecs, olmecs, olmec, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists, tourist, tourists, tourism, tourist attraction, artwork, ruin, ruins, tour book, tour books, tour guide, tour guides, archaeological site, archeological site
"A word to the wise. When the gods speak, they'd better say 'across-the-board tax cut."
Tags:temple, temples, worship, worshiping, inca, incas, mayan, maya, god, gods, ancient civilizations, ancient culture, ritual, rituals, offering, offerings, oracle, oracles, ceremony, ceremonies, ancient ceremony, ancient ceremonies, ancient temple, ancient temples, religious ceremony, religious ceremonies, ancient ritual, ancient rituals, tax, taxes, tax cut, tax cuts, politics, taxation, tax policy, tax policies, fiscal policy, fiscal policies, treasury
Mayan Calendar: 'Chief says just take it 2012 that's when we will switch...'
Tags:inca, incas, incan, maya, mayas, mayan, gods, god, script, scripts, scripted, temple, temples, ancient temple, ancient temples, ancient ritual, ancient rituals, ritual, rituals, ceremony, ceremonies, ceremonial, religious ceremony, religious ceremonies, crowd, crowds, history, historical, ancient culture, ancient cultures, production, produce, producer, producers, writer, writers, writing, script writer, overproduced, overproduce, showboat, showboating, criticism, critique, critiques, review, reviews, announcement, announcements
"It being Saturday night, the gods have asked for pizza."
'I'm spending all of my money and if the world doesn't end in 2012, I'll make it all back and more by suing the Mayas.'
'I've got a better idea. How 'bout you stop by the temple tomorrow, and WE can teach YOU how to live a life of sacrifice.'
'What did you think we meant by 'organ donor program?''
"Who or what should I sacrifice to relieve simple nervous tension?"
Tags:sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, human sacrifice, human sacrifices, human sacrificing, tension, tensions, worry, worries, worrying, counterproductive, unproductive, superstition, superstitions, unhelpful, magic, magical, idol, idols, maya, mayan, aztec, aztecs, witch doctor, witch doctors, cure, cures, curing, fear, fears, fearful, anxiety, anxieties, anxious, anxiousness, tense, tension, tensions, doctor, doctors, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry
'Look, the Mayas did Pilates!'
We appeased the fire god last week. Its your wife's birthday!
Tags:forgetful, forgetfulness, husband, husbands, birthday, birthdays, wife, wife's, wives, maya, mayan, mayan culture, mayan sacrifice, mayan sacrifices, birthday present, birthday presents, birthday gift, birthday gifts, forgot, forgotten, forget, forgets, sacrifice, sacrifices, human sacrifice, human sacrifices
A fearless prediction for Dec. 22, 2012.
"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."
World ends in 2012?
The little-known Mayan joke-a-day desk calendar.
An awkward moment at CES 2013.
Tags:mayan, maya, calendar, calendars, mayan calendar, mayan calendars, app, apps, application, applications, software, calendar app, calendar apps, bug, bugs, software bug, software bugs, bug fix, bug fixes, bug fixing, repair, repairs, repairing, awkward moment, awkward moments, 2012, apocalypse, end of the world, prediction, predictions, wrong prediction, wrong predictions
"Oh no...I've accidentally made the calender stop at 2012."
'It's the Kukulkan witnesses inviting us to read the Popol Vuh.'
'Before we start, let me just say how much we all appreciate your help in ensuring the success of this government funded, faith-based initiative.'
'The gods are perplexing.'
Ancient birth control
'Make appointments for all the people I don't like using the Mayan calendar.'
"Did you know the ancient Maya predicted that the world would end in 2012?"
Tags:baldo, excuse, excuses, maya, mayan, mayans, prophecy, prophecies, end of the world, apocalypse, apocalypses, project, projects, project due, projects due, long-term project, long-term projects, homework, homework assignment, homework assignments, lame excuse, lame excuses, teen, teens, teenager, teenagers, lazy, laziness