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'My prescription: digital textbooks.'
'Take one of these twice a day wrapped in a piece of cheese.'
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'It's true that the flavanoids in chocolate can help reduce platelet activation and influence the balance of eicosanoids...but that is not a justification for me to prescribe you a daily dose of 'choco' mini eggs.'
Take one Per Day as Affordable.
"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."
Tags:monsters, monster, beast, beasts, dragons, dragon, dinosaur, dinosaurs, carnivores, carnivore, man-eater, man-eaters, invasion, invaded, invade, destroy, destroyed, snack, snacks, food, foods, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, medical, prescription, prescriptions, antidepressants, antidepressant, mental health, mental illness, depression, anxiety, stress, over medicate, doctor, doctors, drugs, drug, drugged, pharmaceutical, overmedicate, overmedicates, overmedicating, overmedication, over-medicates, over-medicating, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, prescription, prescriptions
'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'
"I'm taking you off medicinal marijuana and putting you on medicinal harder stuff."
Tags:gateway drug, gateway, drugs, drugged, prescribe, prescribed, prescription, prescriptions, script, marijuana, weed, medicinal marijuana, medicinal drugs, medicinal weed, medicine, medicines, opiods, opiod crisis, opiod, opiod abuse, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, science, health, healthcare, health care, state law, state laws, federal law, federal marijuana law, cannabis, medicinal cannabis, cannabid, cbd, thc, cbd oil, cbd oils, patient, patients, current affairs, current, affairs
"You have a lot of boring health issues, so I'm prescribing medical marijuana for myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, drug, drugs, marijuana, mary j, ganja, pot, weed, cannabis, hash, hashish, hemp, smoke, smoking, joint, blunt, bong, medicinal, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stress, stressed out, legalized, legalised, legalisation, legalization, health issue, bore, bored, boring
'I'm writing you a prescription. Do you want a longer life with less quality or vice versa?'
'Your problem is keeping things down. I want you to take this one pill four times a day.'
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, problem, problems, pill, pills, med, meds, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosis, digest, digests, digestion, digestive system, sick, sickness, vomit, vomits, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'For the elevated blood pressure, exercise and cut down on salt. For the rash, exercise and cut down on salt. For the headaches, exercise and cut down on salt.'
"Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings."
Tags:dose, dosing, dosage, drugs, drug, prescribe, prescription, prescription drugs, otc, over the counter, prescribed, therapy, therapeutic, therapist, therapists, counselling, counselor, counsellor, psychology, psychiatrist, psychiatry, psychiatric, psychiatrics, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychological, emotions, emotional turmoil, emotion, emotional, feeling, feelings, unfeeling, anxiety, anxious, depression, depressed, depressing, medicine, medicines, meds, med, overmedicate, overmedicates, overmedicating, over-prescribe, over-prescribes, overprescribe, overprescribes, overprescribing
Feel better and Feel less medicine.
'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'
'Try these relaxation methods. If they don't work, I'll prescribe a tranquilizer dart.'
'I use catnip, too, but only for medical purposes.'
'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'
"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."
Tags:over-medicated, medication, medications, medicated, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribed, prescribing, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps, md, mds, healthcare, health care, health cover, overmedicated, over medicated, overmedicate, over-medicate, over medicate, drug company, drug companies
'The pills I prescribed for dementia are causing a rash. Which would you rather have?'
'I hurt my hand playing racketball, so you may find this prescription to be surprisingly legible.'
"It used to be enough to just stop. Now I need to stop and take an aspirin."
Tags:headache, headaches, cure, cures, curing, remedy, remedies, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stop, stops, stopping, hammer, hammers, bump, bumps, bumping, checkup, checkups, doctor, doctors, family doctor, family doctors, paracetamol, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, tablet, tablets, pill, pills, pill popper, pill poppers, pill popping
"Could you prescribe something to help me figure out my Part D drug coverage?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, billing, money, medical bill, medical bills, medical costs, medical billing, expenses, insurance, health insurance, medical insurance, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, socialised healthcare, socialised health care, socialized healthcare, socialized health care, medicaid, medicare, obamacare, coverage, figure out, complicated, difficult, paperwork, document, documents, confused, confusion, prescribe, prescription, prescriptions, modern life
'The pound of cure is available as a generic but the ounce of prevention is by prescription only.'
'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'
'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'