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'Mary is visiting from Ames, Iowa and is responsible for all of the carbohydrates.'
"Hey, church lady. You got any Bailey's?"
"Coffee mornings are much better now they're heroin mornings."
'No, I didn't cry on my wedding day. I have done every day since though.'
'The coffee mornings were getting a little stale. So, we've moved onto heroin.'
'I hate to take a problem to bed with me, but my husband refuses to sleep alone.'
Nostalgia Club: This week's topics: Low gas prices, coffee klatches and pensions.
One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.
'I've decided to try that new 'camel's milk'... One hump or two?'
'...and then the coffee morning led to an afternoon beer festival, followed by a cheese and wine tasting evening.'
At Gossips Anonymous...
'He doesn't joke. You are our prisoners.'
The AdRams Family no.30 - Virtual husband
'It's an invite to coffee morning from the castle !'
'No, we're not capturing you for a bizarre sexual experiment. We thought you might like to come to our coffee morning.'
"My husband has half of Russell Crowe's thick-set persona."
"Go on Miss Etherington, you have a go!"