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"You get five paid sick days and two disgruntled days."
'This post does require the candidate to be flexible as regards their contracted hours...'
'We can't take any chances with these appointments...I'd suggest a three day interview with role plays and a group session with clients.'
'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'
"The bowling ball represents what you want to be paid, while the mini-pea represents what I think you're worth."
"You haven't been terminated, just your paycheck."
"I'm still not sure whether you've offered me a job!"
'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...