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"Women want more these days, Bill - it's not enough just to be a jerk anymore."
"I read that girls go for smart guys."
"Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?"
"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."
"You know, my dad always says, 'Baldo, a man should always treat a woman with respect. The moment you stop respecting your girl, it's all over.' Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I don't get it. Diego Dominguez has a 1963 Chevy Impala convertible, all the girls think he's cute and all the guys think he's cool! Why can't I have that?"
"Maybe, if we wanna be popular with girls, we should just be ourselves."
"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."
"Baldo...to get a girl's atttention, you have to be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. That never works."
"That's it...it's so obvious! Girls go crazy for mindless slugs who only want to party all night long!"