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"Then we carefully disguise the bribes as legal fees by changing the word 'bribes' to 'legal fees.'"
Tags:legal, legal fees, bribe, bribes, cooking the books, cook the books, bribery, politician, politicians, politically, scandal, scandals, current event, current events, news, news cycle, news cycles, fee, fees, hidden, hidden money, white collar crime, white collar crimes, bribing, lawyer, lawyers, judge, judges, judiciary, judicial
"Oh, that three billion dollars."
"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."
"I don't want you to cook the books, Bendlemen. I just want you to braise them a little."
Tags:management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, boardroom, chief exec, chief executive, chief executives, board member, class, working class, class issues, class divide, class struggle, class struggles, political issue, political issues, tax, taxes, fat cat, fat cats, profit, profits, profitable, profitability, nepotism, corrupt, corruption, financial, white collar crime, capitalism, capitalist, late stage capitalism, cook the books, account, accounts, accounting, white collar crime
But under a different accounting convention ...
"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."
Tags:loophole, loopholes, tax, taxes, government, governments, expression, expressions, saying, sayings, idiom, idioms, literal, literally, take literally, close loopholes, closing loopholes, tax, taxes, tax loophole, tax loopholes, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax dodging, creative accounting, cook the books, cooks the books, cooking the books, rich, riches, wealthy, wealthy class, wealthy classes, elite, elites, elite society, restriction, restrictions, tax law, tax laws
Irish Step Accounting
Tags:accounting, accountant, accountants, dance, dances, dancing, irish dancer, irish dancers, irish step dancing, irish step dancer, irish step dancers, tap dancer, tap dancers, tap dancing, creative accounting, cook the books, cooking the books, tax, taxes, tax form, tax forms, number cruncher, number crunchers, tax day, tax return, tax returns
"Today, we will talk about your phony numbers. We will not talk about the I.R.S. having too many cooks!"
Tags:internal revenue service, irs, tax cheat, tax cheats, cheater, cheaters, i.r.s., tax day, tax days, cook the books, cooking the books, audit, audits, auditor, auditors, distraction, distract, distracting, lie, lies, lying, back taxes, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, accountant, accountants, accounting, excuse, excuses
'I know figures don't lie. Your job is to make them.'
'I didn't cook the books. Instead, I incorporated them into a tasty tuna noodle casserole!'
"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."
Tags:prison, prisoner, prisoners, white collar, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, corruption, corrupt, insider trading, inside trading, financial information, finances, cook the books, cooking the books, account, accounts, accounting, fraud, fraudulence, fraudulent, securities market, securities markets, sarbanes-oxley, sarbanes-oxley act, sox
"As it happened, my work as an accountant transcended the genre."
'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'
"I've worked out all the figures, we're just not sure what order to put them in!"
Tags:uk budget, budgets, budget, budget resolution, budget resolutions, united kingdom budget, accountant, accountants, accounting, creative accounting, creative accountant, creative accountants, figures, mark to market, work the numbers, working the numbers, sales figures, cook the books, cooking the books
"Trump's election has certainly thrown the cat amongst the pigeons... The only way we'll get through it is to embrace this new world, develop our business strategy around it! So the plan is to build a betterer business, a beautiful business... One where i
Tags:trump, donald trump, president trump, president donald trump, lie, lies, liar, liars, misrepresentation, misrepresentations, cook the books, cooking the books, cooks the books, leading by example, lead by example, leads by example, alternative fact, alternative facts, alternate fact, alternate facts, brag, brags, bragging, braggart, braggarts
'Check forgery and using a pseudonym are two different things.'
'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'
Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.
Why should two plus two equal four?
"Remember, 'accounting' and 'accountability': nothing in common."
'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'
'Take these statistics, Miss Findlay, and make them warm and fuzzy.'
"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"
Tags:magician, magicians, financial wizard, financial wizards, magic, magics, cooking the books, account, accounts, accountant, accountants, accountancy, white collar crime, white collar crimes, cook the books, accounting department, accounting departments, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book keeper, book keepers
"New from accounting, sir. Two and two is four again."
Tags:accounting, accountant, accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, math, new math, maths, mathematics, addition, creative accounting, creative bookkeeping, ethics, cooking the books, cook the books, office memo, office memos, office life, secretary, secretaries, corporate crime, corporate crimes, corporate life, accounts payable, accounts receivable, cfo, financial, financials, financial reporting, financial reports