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Men's Intuition: 'Oh, I can tell from that look you're never going to let this go.'
"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"
'What do you mean, you can't cook either?'
"Actually, this tastes exactly like home cooking to me...ma's one of the prison cooks here!"
"We bought the most expensive cut of meat....you marinated it for two days in your secret sauce....and all you end up with is that?"
"Dinner is scrambled."
'Yeah, Hon - is the microwave supposed to glow redhot?'
"Can you come over here for a second and give this a pained look?"
"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."
"Can't you do something with that besides caramelize your creme brulee?"
Tags:prison, prisoner, jail, criminal, food, escape, creme brûlée, dessert, blowtorch, prisons, prisoners, jails, criminals, escape plan, escape plans, pudding, puddings, prison break, prison breaks, creme brulee, cooking skills, baking, baker, bakers, passion, passions, blowtorches, blow torch, blow torches
"Other than that, how did you like it?"
"Wow, Daddy! You finished that so fast! I'll make you some more!"
"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"
Tags:fly, flies, bug, bugs, home-made meal, homemade meal, homemade dinner, homemade dinners, home-made meals, home-made dinner, home-made dinners, home cooking, insect, insects, cooking skill, cooking skills, dinnertime, dinner time, dinner-time, extra crispy, gourmet meal, gourmet meals, gourmet cooking
"No, no, no....It's not your cooking. Just a hairball."
'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'
'I would make a nice compote.'
"Quick, get it while its molecules are still vibrating."
"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."
Tags:cookbook, cookbooks, cook book, cook books, recipe, recipes, technical support, technical supports, cook-book, cook-books, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking skill, cooking skills, househusband, househusbands, house-husband, house-husbands, wife, wives, married couple, married couples, male stereotype, male stereotypes, gender role, gender roles
"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."
Tags:barbecue, barbecues, bbq, bbqs, barbeque, barbeques, barbequing, barbecuing, grill, grills, cookout, cookouts, cook-out, cook-outs, grilling, summer, summers, summertime, summer-time, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking skill, bbq king, bbq kings, cooking skills, burger, burgers, hotdog, hotdogs, hot dog, hot dogs
"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"
"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."
Tags:cooking skill, cooking skills, cook, cooks, chef, chefs, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, kitchen, kitchens, insult, insults, insulting, insulted, wife, wives, husband, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, married life, married couple, married couples, gourmet, gourmets, gourmand, gourmands
"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."
Tags:speed dial, speed dials, barbecue, barbecues, barbeque, barbeques, barbecuing, barbequing, bbq, bbqs, cookout, cookouts, grill, grills, cook out, cook outs, cook-out, cook-outs, cooking skill, cooking skills, takeaway, takeaways, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, pizza, pizzas, family life, family-life
"Your coffee could be grounds for divorce."
"I was going to make dinner but we are all out of peanut butter and jelly."